#i just went “wait. where did they ever call themselves the Resistance

[mishy-mashy]

I'm sorry, I just realized I've been referring to Kudo and Bruce's anti-AFO group as "The Resistance" when they don't even have a name

So I'm just gonna call it that until they give a name, but darn it

[the-soliloquies-of-sadists]

#369

“Hey boy.  Come here.  I know I told you to stop following me around.  I didn’t mean it.  Shh shh.  No, stay here.  Nobody is nearby, so we can talk… for now.  Sorry I got nervous back there.  I usually don’t mess around when my wife was twenty or thirty feet away.  But damn, you couldn’t keep your eyes off my cock while I was pissing at the urinal.  It’s been a long time, and I couldn’t resist getting a fag on my dick.  And damn you did a good job.  You know, I’m just going to say this.  I want more….

“You live around here?...  That close?  So, you probably walked here?  Can’t say I blame ya with this parking nightmare.  You live alone?... Good.

“Hold on.  I need to text my wife…

“OK.  Look.  It’s been years since I used a fag.  And a decade or two since I really used a fag and used them hard core.  Lubbock doesn’t have much of a gay scene.  Finding a fag wanting to throat me, that just doesn’t happen anymore ever since I stopped going to Mackenzie Park a few years ago.  I went for a blowjob, and walked in on a cop arresting a fag for cruising.  Haven’t gone back since. 

“Wait a minute, didn’t you used to go to the park?...  You were one of my favorites….  Oh you remember?  Wait a minute… Wait a minute… Is that why you were following me around the flea market?...  Oh that’s too much.  I remember I used to skull fuck you, and you begged for more….  I forgot just how wild you queers can be. 

“Back when I was in the Corps—oh man—whenever I had leave, I would drive up from San Diego to Los Angeles.  I would go to this sex club in my service uniform.  The fags there would see me and throw themselves at my feet.  I learned early on that you fags are into some twisted shit.  I really got into just how depraved how fags would get just to serve a Marine in uniform.

“How about you?  You into twisted shit?...  I know you like to get skull fucked, but I’m talking about sweat and piss and spit.  Discipline and worship.  Shit like that. 

“Good.  Good.  When you were on your knees in the toilet begging to drink ‘Daddy’s load,’ I could tell it was natural role for you, just as it was easy for me to slip into that alpha supremacy role. 

“…Good news.  My wife text me back.  She’s going to be shopping for a few more hours.  I told her that I’ll be back to pick her up when she’s done.  So let’s go back to your place.  Get in. 

“You will direct me where to go….  What’s your name, son?...  Lachlan.  Nice name.  I like ‘Faggot.’  That sounds better.  I’m ‘Sir’ to you.  No, keep calling me ‘Daddy.’  I like that….  Which way?

“Slide over here next to me.  Snuggle up next to your dad.  Oh man.  You naturally fit there, son.  Go ahead, let your hand run where it wants to.  You’ll see what grade-A 100% Texas masculine beef feels like.

“Son, which house is yours?...  Uh, I kinda like ‘Son’ over ‘Faggot’ for your name. 

“Ok.  When we go in, you are to strip naked for me.  You understand that son?  Do you have any whisky?  Good.  Pour me a double over ice.  Lead the way.

“…Nice place.  Good thing you live alone?...  You should be stripping….  And my whisky?...  I’ll be here getting my Corona Gorda cigar going….

“…Mmmm.  Fuck.  Set the glass down there….  Before you get down on your hands and knees, let me see your naked body.  Turn around.  Mmmmm, nice ass.  I’m looking forward to cunting it in a bit.  Since I shot a load in your belly already at the Flea Market, my second load will take some time.  I can go for hours.

“But first, this bull daddy is going to enjoy a cigar and whisky.  And you can begin your worship of me.  Lick them boots.

“Fuck yeah.  Let me tell you how to lick a man’s boot.  Your tongue needs to travel over every square inch.  At no time should your tongue detach from my boot for more than a second.  I should also feel tongue pressure pretty much all the time.  When you lick the sole, look up at me.  Nothing gets me boned up like seeing a faggot connect with this superior while doing something so submissive.

“Fuck, I miss this.  Before moving back to Texas, I used to own this faggot from Irvine that I met at that sex club.  He was on the way home from work.  I would walk through his front door.  He would have a cigar and ice-cold Scotch waiting for me.  He would be on all fours waiting.  I would kick back and kick him and fuck him and use him.  When I moved back to Lubbock, I tried to get him to move out here to be my fag on the side.

“Move to the other boot.

“You interested in that?  You want to be my fag?  You know what?  You are a faggot through and through.  Let me say that again.  You want to be my son, Son?

“Good.  I may be 55, but I have the sex drive of a 15-year-old.  Expect to be used two or three times a week.  Who am I kidding, at least for the near future, I will be over here every day to drain my balls. 

“You do realize that you are submitting to my control and ownership.  No more other men for you, at least not unless I order you to.  Now, I’m not going to give up other fags for you, not that I have many faggots to pick from. 

“You also need to understand, I ain’t leaving my wife.  Not now.  Not ever.  It would be very wise for you to never to mention her.

“Do you have sex furniture of any type?  Sling, fuck bench, rimseat?  No.  What about restraints, dildoes, and so on?  No.  What kind of faggot are you?

“Ha!  Just teasing you there.  Next week I need to go to Dallas for an overnight.  You will come with me and be my bitch for the trip.  We need to buy some toys.  A fuck bench, a rimseat—you do eat ass right?

“You better.  Your tongue is going to be very intimate with my shithole.  That is the only thing that goes into my hole.  Don’t you ever try anything else.

“We’ll also get some restraints, gags, and so on.  Whips and…  You ever been beaten?  No?  Well good.  I finally get something to break you in.  You’ll be living under Daddy’s belt and whip.  I broke in the fag back in Irvine.  He loved it. 

“I need to get my whips out of storage, if I still even have it.  I’m going to do one hell of a number to your ass.

“…Did you just say ‘Thank you Sir’?

“Help me take these boots off….  Pants too….  I want a relaxing blowjob.

“…Ahhh that’s better.  Get up here, son, and give your daddy a kiss….  Not a peck like that.  Here…  That’s how you kiss, with lots of tongue.  Taste the cigar?  That’s how a real man from Texas tastes.

“Give me some head.  I was going to belt and fuck your ass, but I think I’m going to just chill here….  Your mouth feels real good.  Keep sucking until I tell you to stop.  If I should fall asleep, keep sucking.  If I have to piss, I won’t warn you, just drink it.

“Son, I’m glad you stalked me earlier.  This is going to be good.  I know it is.”

[fuckin-sick-bih]

Tattoos and Tissues pt 2!

Fandom: Stranger Things Summary: No Upside Down. Tattoo Artist and Florist AU. Hellfire meets at the library, numbers are exchanged, secrets revealed, and love is starting to bloom... CW: Slight mention of runny nose, arousal, and kink talk in this chapter. (also let me know if I ever miss stuff to tag here!) Word Count: 2.4k Author Note: So this is shorter than I would have liked and a bit more text-y? But it's a bit of a bridge chapter to get things to pt 3 which I'm sure is where everybody wants to be and I'm sure y'all can guess where we're going after reading this part. Bridge chapters are hard, man. Hopefully, there are enough comedic lines and sneezes to hold y'all over til part 3! Enjoy! Eddie is the bold and Steve is the Italics. MINORS DNI

Once Steve the hot pollen magnet was out of his shop, Eddie got better during the day. His appointments went off without a hitch and Eddie left early to shower, have a nap, and head to the library to set up for Hellfire that evening. It didn’t take long for his players to start arriving.

No sign of Steve though.

The session began and Eddie was animated as ever, especially after his nap. Near the end, when Eddie was slumped more on his throne leaning against one arm with his leg haphazardly thrown across the other arm. He was smiling to himself as the brats argued amongst themselves on what to do about the Demogorgon in their path, picking a little at the black nail polish that was starting to chip.

The library had the perfect setup for Hellfire. Their Storytime area was conveniently castle themed complete with a throne for the storyteller to sit in which was where Eddie sat now. And also… sometimes on the weekends to read to kids.

What? He was good at doing the voices!

“Children,” Eddie drawled out, pretending to sound annoyed. “I need an answer if you please. Today preferably.”

There was the sound of a door opening and closing somewhere in the distance and Eddie didn’t pay much attention to it as Lucas piped up to ask him something about what damage resistances the Demogorgon had again.

With a small roll of his eyes, Eddie didn’t even have to check his notes to know he was right, so he rattled it off without looking. “Cold, fire, and lightning, Sinclair… C’mon, man. This is why I tell you guys to take notes during sessions.” He insisted, blowing a lock of stray curls out of his face that had fallen down to block his left eye.

When he looked up, there in the distance stood Steve Harrington looking shocked to see him lounging in the chair amongst his party of children. “Well, I think your mom is here to pick you guys up so how about we call it here and you guys can take the week to plan? Deal? I’ll be nice like that.” He smirks at the group of teens and nods over at Steve, a few looking shocked to see him come inside.

Others were just shocked that Eddie knew Steve. Assuming Steve wanted to keep the tattoo a secret, Eddie simply rattled off that they knew each other in high school which wasn’t an outright lie. He knew of Steve. Who didn’t know of Steve The Hair Harrington? Or King Steve?

Steve made his way over and gave Eddie a sheepish wave. “So, is this why you said I should come to sit in on a session?” He joked, hands in his pockets as he waited for the kids to pack up.

Meanwhile, Eddie had started to pack up too. Albeit, slower than the kids to maybe get some more chatting time with Steve. Even if it already felt like his nose was starting to prickle and burn slightly from Steve’s close proximity. Still, a chuckle escaped him when Steve called him out on his reasoning for wanting Steve to come to sit in. “Yeah, kinda. Just thought it would be funny to see if you actually did what I suggested and I gotta say… I’m surprised you did.” He admits to the other, sliding his dice into their little baggie which he cinches closed to drop into his larger bag.

“Surprised?” Steve asked in amusement and raised a brow at him. “Did you think I’d just… intentionally do the opposite of whatever you were telling me to do?”

Eddie gives a small shake of his head, “No, I just thought you might be too cool for D&D is a-all.” His breath nearly hitched as the itch continued to grow the longer he was near Steve and Eddie brought a hand up to rub at his nostrils. After the information Chrissy had given him, it was like he could feel Steve’s eyes on him. Watching him. Zeroing in on him. It almost made the burning tickle feel worse.

Though his statement seems to spark a laugh from Steve which makes Eddie smile. God, that laugh is like music to his ears, and he suddenly knows he wants to hear it just as much, if not more, than his entire metal playlist. “Dude, I hang out and babysit a bunch of kids still in high school. I haven’t been cool since like… sophomore year when Billy Hargrove beat the shit out of me.”

That made Eddie wince and he was just about to reply when he suddenly sucked in a sharp gasp as the tickle peaked, a hand shooting up to pinch his nose shut. “Hiih-! NXG’TSh! Huh… sorry.” He rubbed at his nose a little to try and work away the ticklish feeling to no such luck. “Yeah, shit, I remember when you came in with your face all…” He made a vague gesture to indicate Steve’s face being swollen and bruised, his brown eyes watching the other man carefully.

Steve’s mouth was ever so slightly open, and he was staring at Eddie. He seemed to realize it after a few moments, his jaw snapping shut and his smile reappearing as he refocused. “Um yeah- yeah that sucked. My face and… jeez, everything hurt for days.” He admits, lifting a hand to rub the back of his neck.

There was a brief pause as Eddie shoved the last of his D&D supplies into his bag as the kids chatted amongst themselves. Eddie pressed his wrist to his nose, sniffling and feeling that tickle growing again.

“Were you okay once I left the shop?” Steve asked suddenly, making Eddie look up to find the other’s hazel eyes on him once more.

A chuckle left Eddie and he nods, “Yeah, yeah. Once you were gone I was fiiihh… iihhSHHew! HiiHESSHew! “ He held his long sleeve-covered wrist to his nose which was starting to run similar to his itchy eyes that were streaming a little.

From across the room, the kids had all turned to look at Eddie now with concern and confusion, but it was Max who piped up. “What’s wrong with you? You better not be getting sick because if you get me sick I swear, Eddie…”

“Relax, will you, Mayfield?” Eddie said with a sniffle and went rummaging in his bag for a tissue, surprised when he did find one. “I’m just allergic to your babysitter.” He joked while swiping at his nose.

The reaction from Steve was almost unnoticeable if he hadn’t been looking for it but the moment he said he was allergic to the other man he’d stiffened up. Almost like the first time someone had spanked Eddie. Then he pretty obviously shifted his weight, adjusting his jeans, and Eddie smirked to himself behind the tissue.

The rest of the party was back to conversing with themselves, so Eddie pulled a scrap of paper from his notebook to scribble out his cell number on it which he held out to Steve. “Realized I had your number fr-hih-! from the shop, but you didn’t have mine.”

“Oh.” Steve accepted the piece of paper, smiling a little at the devil horns Eddie had drawn over the ‘E’ in his name. “Thanks, Eddie. I’ll text you tonight after I get these gremlins home.” He jokes and gestured back at the group of teenagers behind him.

A sudden call for Steve from Will had the other looking back at said teenagers, “Steve! My mom is asking for an ETA.”

“Shit, alright, Will. Tell her ten minutes, and I’ll drop you off first. No, Dustin! No complaining.” Steve said sternly, already pointing a finger at the curly-haired teen who had just been about to protest since it meant he got dropped off sooner. “Sorry, Eddie, I gotta go, but I’ll text you!”

“IiiSHhuh! Ugh-” Eddie pawed at his nose with his knuckles again, wincing as his rings caught a little painfully at his pink and sensitive nostril. “Yep! Text me whenever, Harrington. I’ll be awake a while yet.”

Without much ceremony, Steve herded his flock of seniors into his car to begin dropping them off for the night. How they all fit, Eddie would never know.

. . .

It was just past ten thirty when Eddie’s phone vibrated against the couch cushions and the curly-haired man practically dove for it. A few missed tiktoks Gareth had sent him and then an unknown number with a text that read:

Hey! This is Steve from earlier at the shop and the library? Hope you’re feeling okay after everything today.

Eddie could have screamed outright in joy if his neighbors didn’t already hate him for playing guitar at all ungodly hours of the night. As it was he buried his face in the pillows of his couch, kicked his feet, and squealed. Once he had that out of his system, he sat back up and replied with:

steve! aw arent u sweet <3 im fine, big boy. once you and all your plant sperm is gone i stop sneezing eventually.

With the suspected knowledge Eddie had, true or not, it made the text he’d just sent feel almost like a flirt and he kind of loved it. Messing with Steve was kind of fun even if the other wasn’t into guys, but… well he had taken his number, hadn’t he? Or was he just being polite? Oh, shit. Eddie really hadn’t thought any of this through. Oh fuck.

Hardy har. But I am glad you’re okay. I was seriously worried about you for the rest of the day. And I hope seeing me at the library didn’t make it worse again.

That felt… sweet. And hadn’t Steve been sweet back at the tattoo parlor too? Especially about his sneezing, but well that was obvious as to why now. Somehow this felt like concern over Eddie beyond just whatever Steve happened to be into and some cold and blackened part of the tattooist warmed a little.

not too bad, some extra sneezes on my way home wont kill me. im waaay used to it. was totally fine by the time i got home.

Again, somehow it felt like throwing Steve a bone and seeing if he’d bring it back to trust him for more.

I’m glad you’re alright now. You know if you ever need anything, I’m happy to help out?

Eddie wasn���t sure what possessed him. Maybe the devil. Maybe fate. Maybe he was just too damn impulsive for his own fucking good and he was about to ruin a very good thing.

you sure youre not just asking so you can see me sneeze again? >:)

For a solid ten minutes, Eddie’s heart hammered in his chest, and he practically gnawed the corner off his pillow wondering if he’d done or said the right thing. He stared at his phone with growing dread. The waiting was killing him. What was Steve doing? Okay yeah sure Eddie had kind of maybe just dropped some weird fucking bombshell, but-!

The screen lit up and the plastic device vibrated almost angrily at him. This time, Eddie hesitated to grab his phone. He wasn’t sure he wanted to see Steve’s answer now that he thought about it…

Fuck. What gave me away?

Relief. Sweet fucking relief. Steve was receptive and Chrissy was right holy shit! Eddie stared at the reply from Steve debating what to say for so long that another came in.

I’m sorry. This is really weird. I hope I didn’t freak you out or anything like that.

That startled a laugh from Eddie and he immediately replied.

i was king of the freaks, steve. you cant freak me out. i think its pretty cute.

Cute? That’s new.

no one ever called you cute before?

No one has ever called me thinking sneezing is attractive cute before.

well theres a first time for everything, right? besides i like indulging in peoples kinks. its fun.

You’re a strange… strange man, Eddie Munson.

. . .

They texted on and off until Tuesday, the banter between the two becoming much more relaxed as time went on. Then early on a Tuesday morning, too fucking early if you asked Eddie, his phone went off. He groaned while trying to shuffle the blankets off over his head to find his phone buried somewhere in the sheets. Finally, his fingers knock into something hard and plastic and there’s a clatter as it goes skittering to the floor which makes Eddie groan.

He goes sliding half out of bed, tattooed skin becoming exposed to the chilly air as he pulls free from the heavy blankets he usually hides under. The chill of the morning air makes his skin pull tight and goosebumps appear across his flesh while he fumbles aimlessly under the bed for his phone.

The sudden shift from warm air trapped underneath his bed sheets to cold air outside of them makes his sinuses prickle like usual and Eddie’s no stranger to his usual bout of morning sneezes. Before even trying to read the texts, he waits. Lying there covered by just his bedsheets as the tickle grows until finally he sneezes uncovered into the air in front of him, “HiihEXTSHew! Hipt’shew! Et’shhhuh! Ngh…” He rubs a hand over his face while sniffling softly then checks his phone.

Hey, Eddie, I am SO sorry, but I think we have to reschedule the tattoo appointment. I was feeling a little iffy yesterday, but now I’m definitely not making it. I was really looking forward to it. Let me know what days are free and I’ll happily reschedule!

All at once his heart sank.

He rubbed at his eyes a little more, scrubbing the sleep from them. After a moment, Eddie pulls up the schedule on his phone to see what all he’s got going on today. Just… Steve and open for walk in’s which… Something between a whine and a groan escapes Eddie as he makes a decision before texting Chrissy and Gareth he won’t be in today since his appointment is rescheduling.

If Steve was going to go waking him up before his alarm did then he was going to suffer the consequences. And well… Eddie had a crush and a soft spot for the guy. Without further ado, Eddie rolled himself out of bed with a shiver to start getting dressed so he could make a run to the store for some supplies before gracing The Ailing King with his presence.

Link to Part 3

[iamvegorott]

Ink Month 2023 Day 27

Propose

“Give me a lift, and I’ll grab those.” Mad pointed up the large apple tree. “Those are the best since no one else ever goes for them since it’s too high up.” 

“Hell yeah!” Jackie eagerly crouched down, wrapped his arms around Mad’s legs, and stood back up, giving Mad several more feet of height.

“There’s so many up here!” Mad said with an excited laugh, picking apples and putting them in his basket. 

“Get all of them!” Jackie laughed as well.

“I am!”

“Those two are such dorks.” Phantom chuckled from the bench where he and Mare sat and watched their boyfriends enjoy themselves. 

“They are.” Mare agreed with a fond smile, eye soft with affection and thinking he could see Mad’s happy face for the rest of his life. “I think I might propose to Mad.” He said without realizing the words were out loud. 

“What!?” Phantom’s shocked yelp snapped Mare back to reality.

“Are you guys okay?” Jackie called.

“We’re fine,” Phantom called back with a smile. He waited until he got a smile from Jackie, and his attention went back to Mad before he hissed at Mare, “You’re going to what?” 

“It was just a thought.” Mare kept his voice down as well.

“You have never shown interest in marriage, like, we used to talk shit about weddings all the time. You called them an ‘expensive show for others’.” Phantom used his fingers to add the quotes. 

“I’ve also never been in love before. Plus, my wedding would be for me and Mad. You guys are just welcomed to the show.” Mare said with a casual shrug.

“Now you sound like you’ve been planning this.” Phantom scoffed. 

“I haven’t…but I have been thinking about always having Mad by my side.” Mare looked over at the other two. Mad was now back on the ground, holding the basket of apples to his chest and looking proud of himself. “He’s stubborn and snarky and always ready to run off to chase any theory he has, but he’s also so smart and soft and joyful…I have days when I hug him, and I don’t want to let go. I don’t want him to leave. I want to feel the way he hugs me back until the day I die.” 

“You’re going to make me throw up.” Phantom had a teasing grin. 

“Tell me you don’t feel the same about Jackie.” Mare teased back with a little nudge of his elbow. 

“Don’t call me out like that.” Phantom softly chuckled. “But…yeah. I do. He’s a dork, but he’s my dork. I’d kill so many people if they tried taking him away from me.” 

“So if he got down on one knee and asked you to marry him?”

“I’d say yes in a heartbeat.” 

“And you were making fun of me.” Mare chuckled at both that and of the scene of Mad getting up on Jackie’s shoulders to reach higher up on a different apple tree. 

“That’s my job as your brother.” Phantom placed a hand on Mare’s shoulder and patted it. “And as your best man.” 

“So you approve?”

“He makes you happy. That’s all I care about, and if calling him your husband instead of boyfriend makes you happier, I’ll do whatever it takes to make that happen.” 

“Maybe I’ll drop hints to Jackie for you.” Mare laughed when that got a little shove.

“This is about you, shithead.” Phantom huffed. “Now I’m leaving you to tell Anti about this on your own.” 

“Oh fuck. I would need to talk to Anti.” Mare at his face. 

“Good luck~” Phantom sang.

“Mare! Mare, look at all of these apples!” Mad said as he and Jackie finally joined the brothers. “We can make pies and tarts and still have leftovers to cut up and dip in peanut butter or Nutella.” 

“I’d like to dip you in Nutella.” Mare chuckled, placing a hand on Mad’s cheek and kissing him.

“Mare!” Mad squeaked, slapping lightly at his chest, but happily leaned into another kiss.

“Did you two have fun?” Phantom asked Jackie.

“I think we got more apples than everyone else here,” Jackie said with a prideful puff to his chest.

“It’s not a competition.” Phantom giggled. “But I am glad that you won.” He couldn’t resist tugging down on Jackie’s shirt to kiss him. “We really are weak for you two.” 

“Huh?”

“Don’t worry about it. It’ll make sense later.” Phantom tugged Jackie into another kiss. 

[shutterlens]

[tw: vent, transphobia, ableism, verbal abuse, mental hospital, systemic violence, self-harm, invalidation of trauma, police, potentially distressing content]

A few days ago, I was forced into a psychiatric ward a few days ago by the cops which Public Safety at my college called on me just because I hit my head a few times, and it wasn't even that hard.

The reason I did this self-injurous behavior to myself was to punish myself for my stupidity because I couldn't remember the study material for my History quiz properly.

I just needed time to process my pain and cry for a moment when they took that as purposeful resistance just because I said that I didn't feel comfortable being immediately sent to an on-campus counselor because I felt like I couldn't trust her due to my fear of this exact scenario happening. I just needed a moment to cry, and Public Safety didn't even care to give me that.

I was dehumanized, stripped of all my clothes and belongings (they even stole my earrings and didn't give them back, so I had to get new ones), and made to wear only my undergarments, a hospital gown, and those stupid grippy socks.

I was made to wait in complete isolation for seven hours when I was told that my visit there would only be fifteen minutes.

I was purposefully misgendered and deadnamed by almost everyone there, and even those who bothered to try to get my name and pronouns right refused to treat me even remotely decently, invalidating all my previous traumas whenever I tried talking about them, creating conflict where there was none in the first place, talking amongst themselves about how much of an annoying obligation I was and that I didn't deserve anything good, and one of the psychiatric specialists even tried to accuse me of faking my ADHD (quote: "You think you have ADHD?" -the psychiatrics specialist at this mental hospital, who I thought I could trust because I gave her my username on TrevorSpace before she said this) and has been ever since high school, and didn't believe me when I said that the diagnosis my special-ed high school gave me (it was even on my high school IEP) was federally recognized as a legally professional diagnosis. It is important to note that not only did she immediately accept my high school’s diagnosis of Generalized Psychosis, the diagnosis that sounded the most “dangerous” to her even though I haven’t even caused that much harm and even after I explained to her how that’s likely to be a misdiagnosis for my trauma, as fact, she repeatedly questioned me on whether I had experienced any psychotic hallucinations that could possibly result in harm to others, to which my answer was always “no”. I got this question twice from her and a few more times from the other nurses.

Worst of all, they were just keeping me there just to torment me, and one of the security guards even refused to give me my items on time even though one of the nurses told him to give it to me just to see me suffer. I was told that I would only stay

Dad wasn't even going to give me the time I need to process my trauma and even threatened to take me back to that horrible place when he heard my sobs of pain from downstairs, and worst of all, he says that the hospital said that I'm legally required to disclose all the details of the trauma I went through on October 4 to the therapist I'm being forced to see right now, who I know I can't trust because he's been relentlessly passive-agressive about everything I've told him about myself, has tried to gaslight me out of knowing my sexuality and gender identity, has screamed at me to the point of tears whenever he didn't get his way, does not allow me to establish boundaries between me and him, passive-agressively bullies me for showing any of my neurodivergent traits, has even stated outright ableist things like "everyone's a little bit ADHD", and has even told me "You know, you don't have to be angry about this" (quote from this therapist) in response to the KOSA bill's threat to remove all queer resources, all suicide hotlines, remove privarcy from the internet as we know it, and majorly participate in the queer genocide (he has always had this dismissive and diminutizing attitude to all my problems and has only pretended otherwise to make himself look good).

I can't even get a few days to myself to process my trauma because I also have to worry about completing several assignments this week and I was forced to disclose severe trauma to someone I know I can't trust. Worse yet, every day after that, I was reminded of my trauma in some way, whether it was losing track of time the same way I did when I was imprisoned, going into a severe and uncontrollable fear response and sprinting away whenever I saw a cop car or someone in a police or police-like uniform, getting targeted ads for the hospital that traumatized me, not being able to look at a white room or the color light blue without thinking of my trauma, and so much more. It's been getting harder and harder for me to wake up on time because I've just been sleeping for so much longer from the exhaustion this event caused me, and even then, my dreams have been getting more negative and unpleaseant if I even have dreams at all. I haven't even been able to do my work as well since this incident.

Several neighbors that I thought I could trust with my recent trauma told me that I deserved to be traumatized, dehumanized, lied to, stolen from, and imprisoned because it was "all completely necessary for the cops to send me away because I could have harmed myself by disobeying their orders" when they punished me for needing a moment to cry. Everyone I went to when I tried to discuss my trauma told me that the police were right and I was wrong. All of these neighbors immediately started with "Well, the thing you need to understand is that they need to do all this, they need to lie to you and invalidate you and torment you for seven hours straight" and one of them even told me that systemic violence can only ever be physical (which is not true at all). Everyone I went to about this were pro-police monsters who will never believe the victim and only heard inhuman babbling the second I opened my mouth. Please help me. I've been retraumatized every day since this incident. I'm completely lost and have no one to support me. Nearly everyone in my life is telling me that I completely deserve my trauma and that no one in their right minds should ever show sympathy to me. I know that the trauma that I had to face is extremely unconventional and I get that almost no one would ever consider this actual trauma aside from the few people I'm seeing outside of Tumblr who support me a lot, but I hope that I can get at least a little kindness from the people here on Tumblr, because I know that I did get some kindness from here the last time I spoke about a personal issue of mine (more specifically discovering that I might not have a post-platonic attraction to any gender) and from that, I'm willing to be more guard-down (assuming positve intent until proven otherwise) on this website, especially considering that my parents thankfully don't know about my account here (though I'm afraid that being so guard-down might end up being a mistake). Please, someone, anyone who cares about me, respond to this (nicely).

[bemylord]

ꜱ/ᴏ ʙᴇɪɴɢ ᴄʟɪɴɢʏ │ᴀᴘᴏʟᴏɢɪᴇꜱ

↳ characters: satoru, itadori, megumi, toji, nanamin, sukuna.

↳ warnings: it's fluff part, so there's no angst or hurtful things [some parts might be spicy].

↳ butler's remark: finally have dropped the last part of this angst theme.i don't know what kind of dr#gs i used when i was writing the last three.

↳ part one;

ɪᴛᴀᴅᴏʀɪ ʏᴜᴜᴊɪ:

he'd be very sad and angry at himself for screamed at you. he didn't mean to push you away because of his fatigue. as he recalled the phrase you dropped before leaving: 'i'm gonna cuddle with megumi-kun' this phrase goes on and on in his head as he runs into your room. he knocked first, hoping you're alone. he knocked again, but there's no response.

'my baby, i'm so-so-so sorry, baby.' he just jump to the bed, wrapping arms around your waist, pulling you closer to his body. 'no, don't cry because of me, i'm the worst boyfriend ever.' he kisses the top of your head.

yuuji will cry with you if you'd continue to sob your nose, burying your face as deep as it's possible in itadori's chest, unable to deny his necessity. he's comforting you in his arms, whispering praising phrases about you.

'i was a fool, y/n, please forgive me.'

'promise me you'll never scream at me like that.'

instead of words, but kissed your lips, nodded his head. yuuji will show his love and affection by kisses and hugs, holding you tight to keep you from running away.

'y/n, i love you.'

ꜰᴜꜱʜɪɢᴜʀᴏ ᴍᴇɢᴜᴍɪ:

you've decided not to leave but stay home, waiting as long as his malice calm down. you were waiting for him in the bedroom, still grieved by the last words. you know megumi wasn't serious - he hates being beaten up by todo or satoru, you also know that he'll be a puppy right after a bath.

he showed up in the room in the home shorts, aimlessly rubbing the back of the neck, breathing out what caught your attention.

'i shouldn't have let the anger gets the best of me, y/n.'

bruises and abrasions are coaxed on his upper body and face as it brings the pain when he sits on the bed. he again rubs the skin, nervous to ask you to heal him.

'i-i would like..'

'i'll heal you, 'gumi.'

he smiles, seeing you tenderly how you treat wounds. he thought you were going to kill him after the acuteness, but here you are, helping your lover.

'i don't deserve you y/n, you always have been so kind to me. i'm sorry for being a moron, my angel, i didn't mean it.'

you took him of guard by a quick, yet lovely kiss on the lips.

'i will make it up to you, i will change.'

ꜰᴜꜱʜɪɢᴜʀᴏ ᴛᴏᴊɪ:

you may think it'll take days or weeks for him to the realization of what did he do. you were a naive one by leaving the gold wedding ring on the table, thought he won't notice.

'i am not a servant or errand girl, i'm his wife!'

perhaps, you thought he won't sniff as you're leaving the house, silly. he has a perfect hearing to hear where you're going and what you left.

'what a jerk i fell in love for, had the misfortune to marry that...'

'to marry that?'

he finished your sentences, turning your body by your arm.

'need a woman to meet your needs, toji? i've had enough.'

his strong arm didn't let you a chance to leave the place you stand, only pulling you by the chin to look into the loving eyes.

'fool, you're my woman, my wife, and the mother of my future children.'

'regret?' he gasped into your lips before kissing them, nibbling lightly on your lower lip.

'i'll do anything to make you forgive me. should i ea-?'

'home, toji, home!'

'by the way, if you ever take the ring off, ohh. doll~'

ꜱᴀᴛᴏʀᴜ ɢᴏᴊᴏᴜ: [i think i was h1gh, no hate on me after]

i heard about the woman that have called her boyfriend about thosand or more times, so.. it's satoru. satoru has been calling you since you've left the house, maybe, you'd pick up the phone if you weren't be fury at your boyfriend.

you were walking in the park where gojo first confessed his love. your first kiss and something more than a kiss. that place you will always remember is the tallest and oldest tree in the park. noticeable and stately. as you came to the tree you heard someone behind you.

'you knew it's my place, y/n!' what? is that a touchy voice?

'whatever i'm leaving.'

'where do ya goinnng~~'

'home.'

'fine, i'm walking home too. take you home?'

'we live in the same house.'

'that's better! wanna watch netflix and chill?'

i'd say you're mad at him, but i'll lie. he's so funny and cute, how can you resist?

'don't act like a clingy, gojo.'

'you began first. ok-ok, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry.'

you had to gag him with a kiss because he would have continued talking nonsense. acting like a child. he lifted you by the waist, kissing you and whispering sweet phrases.

'i love when you're clingy, my baby, i was- i feel so bad due to the work, my angel. soon we'll be going on the mission.'

he lowered you to the ground, kissing you on the tip of your nose.

'let's pick some flowers and make a wreath, shall we?'

'we'll get arrested.'

'you can run, y/n.'

ɴᴀɴᴀᴍɪ ᴋᴇɴᴛᴏ:

you were taking a bath on your own, drowning in the tears - as you've mentioned you're overly clingy and vulnerable and nanami had had known this. he knew you could be sticky when you haven't seen him in a few hours - but does it badly? he knocked twice on the door, waiting for your response.

'darling, mm-' he hesitated as if you'll reject him. 'may i come in?' you only made a quiet mumbling sound, but it was enough for him to enter the bathtub.

he took off his suit, joining you. no matter how much you try, he will see your weeping eyes.

'i shouldn't have yelled at you over a hard day. darling, come to me, tell me how your day went.'

'not before you tell me about yours.'

you sat on his lap, massaging his sturdy, tired shoulders, helping him relax.

'taking a bath like that with you after a day's work is what i like best.'

he kisses your lips as your palms still find themselves on his shoulders. anyway, nanami doesn't want his future wife to cry over him - he'll be the best husband.

ʀʏᴏᴍᴇɴ ꜱᴜᴋᴜɴᴀ:

it has been weeks since you didn't interact with the king: neither you didn't come to his domain nor answer on his questions. when his sudden mouth appeared on yuuji's cheek, asking you to immediately come to his domain, you didn't feel the need to respond sukuna, irritating him.

you were waiting 'till the king will utterly be pissed off by your behavior, taking the possession of the vessel body to finally have a conversation with you.

'y/n, do something! sukuna has been so furious that i can hardly restrain him.'

'the king wants to see the stupid girl?' you crossed arms over the chest, letting out a sigh of relief - finally. 'i'm coming, sukuna.' you touches yuuji's chest to find yourself being instantly on sukuna's lap.

'you've been ignoring me for weeks, woman.'

'i wonder why? because i'm stupid and clingy?'

sukuna pulled the loose strands of hair out of your face carefully, so as not to hurt you with a claw. he cups your cheeks, making you stare directly at him in the eyes.

'i won't say it twice, so hear me out.' he kissed your lips with fondness, which was not characteristic of him. 'i'm sorry, okay?'

from now on, you can show off that the king of curses said sorry to you. be proud of yourself, 'till his eyes are cast dark hue, palms found themselves on your hips.

'i've been alone for days and days, y/n,' you could feel something raising underneath you. 'and why through all bastards you've chosen satoru?'

someone is jealous..

however, i have a feeling that there will be some sort of sequel...

tag my cuties <3

@monisi @herhappyplace @h3artfiilia @din0plushie @giaduuh @schleepyflocci @creammy0 @rmjace @whogonprayformee @wwholesome-vibes @blacckkwiddow @sivaneeee @deepcowboywerewolf @royaltyofwinterfell @bakugo1819 @electroniclightjudgeghost @alexganes @tonks221 @spn-obession @superbheropeachtrash @strwbrry-lia @sterieshinso @daynada @butyfigers @lonely-dreamer @adorenoya @fluffymarshmellowcat @cloudsinthecosmos @itsonyxpected @itspastellemons @kingdomblvck @lovliecs @doodledee-png @neo-lucien @fl4mepillar @musichime07

↳ back to the main master list.

[allthewhumpygoodness]

If you're still doing those themed emoji asks, could you maybe do 🛏 please?

Yes I can yes I can!! Sorry again for the super duper late answer.

🛏 - extra time in bed

They should have known something was wrong as soon as they failed to see B's familiar form wandering the kitchen, already having been awake for at least an hour before the sun was even up.

That was how C usually found them, but not this morning. This morning the hallway was dark, the kitchen floorboards silent except for the creak of their own footsteps.

But still, they hadn't picked up on the strangeness of it at first. A little surprised, but not concerned. Not yet. But when they finished making their tea and sat sipping it as the sun concluded its slow ascent past the kitchen windows, they did wonder where B could have gotten off to. And when D got up first and came into the kitchen, they knew something must be going on with them.

"Have you seen B?" they asked immediately, worried now at their absence.

D only shrugged. "They were still asleep when I got up. Probably just sleeping in - I wouldn't blame them on a day like this."

Both looked outside. Though the sun had come up fully now, it glittered over a plain of fresh snow, and B could tell just by the way the air sparkled faintly that it was well below freezing temperatures.

"I just worry," they insisted. "Have you ever known them to stay in bed this late?"

D shook their head, looking amused. "You worry about them too much. I think they can take care of themselves, C."

"Still."

C poured themselves another cup of tea, wrapping their cardigan tighter around their shoulders. D remained unbothered, making coffee for themselves and chugging the whole thing in only a few swallows. "I'll start shoveling the driveway. We won't be getting out of the house any time soon at this rate."

C nodded, their mind elsewhere. With a plunge in temperature like the one the night before, there would be plenty to do around the house. Getting the front walk cleared out would have to come first, and then they'd need to gather more firewood, stock up on non-perishables, dig out the extra winter blankets it hadn't been quite cold enough to use yet...maybe they'd even have to go into town and buy a generator in case the power went out...

But first of all, they'd need to make sure all three inhabitants of he house were okay.

C left their dirty mug in the sink, and was about to climb the stairs when they heard the creak of slow footsteps coming to meet them. The rhythm of D's shovel thudding against the driveway was easy enough to hear, and the only other person there was...

"B?" they called out, hurrying into the living room. There was B, halfway up the stairs, clinging to the bannister with one hand and rubbing their eyes with the other. One eye landed on C and blinked in bleary recognition.

"Where have you been?" asked C, "I've been worried about you."

B shrugged. "Sleeping. I guess." Alarm suddenly flashed through their tired face. "Wait - what time is it? Did I sleep too late?"

They glanced around, squinting and disoriented and looking so pitiful that C couldn't resist going to them a minute longer. Closer up, their appearance was startling; cheeks pale and eyes heavy with exhaustion, ringed with shadows. Their breath came in short, ragged heaves like they were having trouble catching it. When B approached them they wasted no time in leaning forward and flopping bonelessly onto their shoulder.

"Hey there," said C, slightly alarmed - normally they were never this affectionate, and certainly not with them. "You okay? We can hug in a minute if that's what you want - but you're about to push me down the stairs."

B muttered an apology into their shoulder, stumbling as they detached themselves. C couldn't help noticing, as they reached out to steady them, how unnaturally warm they felt.

"Sit down for a second." B obeyed without answering, looking dazed and bewildered. C laid a palm to their cheek, followed by the back of their hand to their forehead. There was no doubting the heat coursing through them.

"Oh honey, you're not feeling well at all, are you?" B looked surprised, but shook their head, as if the mere thought of lying was too exhausting.

"Just really tired," they muttered. A shiver ran through them, so badly their teeth chattered. "I was freezing all night. And...I don't know. Dizzy. Feels like I got hit by a bus."

It took even C a moment to realize their hand was still in B's hair, stroking gently. "We'll get you back into bed. You definitely need it. D's outside right now digging out the house - I'm guessing you heard the snow last night."

"Is that what that was?" B coughed a few times, and the effort of it seemed to drain them even more. C's heart hurt seeing them so small, curling in on themselves like they wanted to be even smaller. The weak groan they let out when the coughing fit was done was worse than if they'd started crying right then and there.

"Come on," said C, gently tugging at their sleeve. "You should rest. Let D and us take care of everything - you get a sick day."

"I want to help," B mumbled, even as they staggered to their feet.

"Nonsense. We can handle a little snow. You don't need to do anything at all."

They couldn't quite tell, but it looked like a shadow of relief they saw in B's eyes.

Even with B's slow, clearly painful gait, it didn't take long to get them back up the stairs and tucked into bed. Despite their verbal protests that they 'should be helping out,' and 'didn't need anything,' they made little effort to uphold their words, curling up without resistance under the warm quilts C pulled out for them.

"It'll be a cold one," they told them, "and that fever will only make things worse. You'll need to stay bundled up if you're going to be comfortable. I'll take your temperature later to make sure you haven't heated yourself up too much."

B managed only a faint, sleepy sound in response, their eyes already shut. "I feel better now," they murmured. "Just a little."

C hesitated, then planted a soft kiss on their hot forehead. "A little is better than not at all. Try to go to sleep. If you need anything, D and I won't be far."

"Thank you," said B. "Being warm...it's better."

C brushed the hair from their closed eyes. "You bet it is. Now you just stay where you are and get warm, and we'll do the rest. We're going to take good care of you."

[mercy-burning]

No Fun

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Summary: Everyone knows there’s no fun in friends without benefits. (Inspired by the song Friends Without Benefits by Chloe Collins) Category: SMUT (18+) Content: Strong language, drinking, oral sex (fem receiving), mention of male receiving oral sex, penetrative/unprotected sex, creampie Word Count: 3.4k

MASTERLIST

NOTE: Hello! Sorry my scheduling has been all over the place lately, as I’m sure you’re probably tired of hearing about at this point 😅 But, No Fun is finally out!! (It was also a very good way for me to ease myself back into writing after recovering from my cold alsdjflsdkjf) Also, if you don’t follow Chloe on TikTok (or any social, really) you should! She’s super sweet and writes all her songs about Criminal Minds. This one’s my favorite, though! It’s such a vibe, I hope you’ll all give it a listen! 😊❤

***

Her eyes opened of their own accord. No alarm, no ring of the cellphone, no hand on her shoulder accompanied by the voice of one of her co-workers saying they'd finally landed... She liked it that way. Not only because it meant she had that rare peace and quiet first thing in the morning—though that was definitely a perk. It also meant that she was most likely at Spencer's apartment.

In his bed.

In his shirt.

As her eyes adjusted to the golden warmth that beamed through the curtains, she stretched out her arms and legs, knowing full well that he was in the kitchen; He was always in the kitchen, ever the early bird.

Speaking of, the smell of coffee started to permeate into the bedroom, and it comforted her further as she rose into a seated position. In a matter of minutes, the coffee would be ready, and Spencer would be waiting patiently, sipping from his own cup while hers sat untouched at the spot across from him.

Normally, she would get dressed and meet him out there, but upon remembering all the delicious things that happened in that kitchen the night before, she was feeling a little devious.

So she got out of bed and removed her underwear, leaving her in just his shirt, which barely covered her ass. She was going to leave them in the bedroom, but after a split second decision, she ended up striding out into the kitchen with the garment dangling from her fingers.

"Good morning," she sang, standing in front of the kitchen counter. It covered her lower half, so the only indication of her indecent exposure took form of the fabric in her hand.

Spencer was reading something, not bothering to look up as he spoke. "Good morning. Your coffee's how you like it. I thought we could stop at the gas station on the way in to get something to eat."

"Yeah, that's fine," she responded, setting the underwear on the counter and picking up her coffee. "But I was hoping you would eat me instead."

She nonchalantly lifted the mug to her lips and took a sip as he finally looked up, raising an eyebrow. Her eyes glanced down at the counter as if to say, Look...

And he did.

The seductive sparkle in his eye at the sight in front of him sent a drip of excitement into her bloodstream that rippled throughout her whole body. It always had.

That's initially what drew her to him in the first place. Yeah, it was common knowledge to anyone that Spencer was intelligent, endearing, and handsome, but it was his flirty side that really got Y/N going. It didn't come out often, if at all— unless he was drunk or with the person of his affections.

Y/N found this out when the team threw him an impromptu birthday party last year. After discovering that he hadn't reminded anyone of his thirtieth birthday, Emily immediately called Penelope back home to start planning, and she looped everyone in before they landed later that night. Y/N herself was kind of disappointed with herself for even fathoming the idea of forgetting her friend's birthday, especially since she'd known him for years and celebrated his birthday with him and their friends before.

So before the party that night, she decided to go out and get him something. Only, she couldn't find anything, and it was on her way back when everyone was wondering where she was that Y/N started to question whether or not she really deserved to be considered his friend.

It didn't stop her from putting on a happy face and celebrating his birthday to the fullest, though— She showed up and hugged him immediately, holding onto him perhaps a little too long before offering to give him anything he wanted as compensation for forgetting his birthday, and his thirtieth at that. Of course, he insisted that she didn't really have to do anything for him, but she knew that was just him being himself.

Nonetheless, the party moved along, and with pretty much everyone out of his apartment after a long night of drinking and cake and celebration, Spencer and Y/N were the only two left, buzzed and sitting a little too close.

After convincing him to let loose and have a little fun on his 'special day', Y/N had managed to get him to help her finish an entire bottle of wine. And he'd been making his way through a few beers as the sun set and the stars came out.

And then he started looking at her weird.

That was the only way she could have described it in her drunken state, but it was certainly true, if only for the fact that it wasn't a look she'd ever seen from him before. His eyes were wide, pupils blown to almost full dilation, and his tongue kept dancing behind his lips like he was tracing out some sort of invisible pattern.

When she confronted him about it, drunkenly giggling and asking why he was looking at her like that, he laughed back and flat-out told her, "Have I ever told you how pretty y'are?" And she didn't even get a chance to respond before he continued. "Y/N, you're really pretty... Like, you're the prettiest woman I-ever seen."

"You're pretty, too, y'know, birthday boy," she laughed, smiling incredibly wide. Her whole body was practically on fire, and it only got hotter when he leaned in and kissed her, hard and sloppy, and with purpose.

They went on that night, stumbling around every square inch of his apartment while mumbling drunken compliments and haphazardly throwing aside their clothes until they woke up the next morning in his bed, naked, hungover, and absolutely shocked by what had happened.

Things at work were significantly more awkward, as to be expected, but as the days went on, the more they started to catch little stolen glances and shared recovered memories of what really happened.

More specifically, Y/N couldn't stop replaying these few sentences in her head, on a loop in between flashes of hands in hair and tongues on skin...

"You said you'd give me anything I wanted, right? What if I want you?"

"Then go ahead... Have me."

...Have me...

They met up in the parking lot one day after work and simultaneously blurted out in their own words how they couldn't stop thinking about what happened and how much they wanted to do it again...

And they did.

That seductive sparkle in his eye was there when he kissed her that first night on his birthday, it was there just before they started making out in the parking lot just a week later, and it was there now as he looked down at her panties on the table and then flitted his gaze up to meet hers.

Y/N's body buzzed with a thrill as Spencer made his way around the kitchen counter and dropped to his knees as she sat on the barstool and spread her legs for him.

***

They were late for work that morning.

To make it inconspicuous, Y/N showed up ten minutes after Spencer did— maybe a little exaggerated, but it didn't raise any suspicions. It might have sucked when as soon as she walked in everyone was on their way out to go to the airstrip, Hotch with his phone in hand and ready to dial her number, but nobody suspected a thing.

Spencer threw a little smirk at her as he passed, and she resisted the urge to smack his ass out of spite.

She would have done it, too, but there were two specific rules they'd set once they decided to regularly sleep together, and one of them was that nothing could happen at work or around their friends. And regardless of how badly they wanted to steal kisses or touches at work, their arrangement meant too much to compromise. Once either rule was broken, their little friends with benefits excursion would be immediately void.

Unfortunately, after a flight that was absolutely laced with their sexual tension and once they'd landed in Minnesota for this latest case, they both shared a look that practically set in stone the undeniable, inevitable truth.

They were obsessed.

The whole ordeal was incredibly exhilarating, already an inevitable outcome when it came to regularly sleeping with a co-worker, but what they weren't counting on was just how thrilling it was. Almost a year into their extracurricular activities and they were spending just about every free moment attached by mouths and hands and limbs. And as time progressed it became increasingly more difficult to keep to themselves, needing to be in proximity to one another constantly.

That's not to say they weren't excellent at handling it, though.

Sure, the burning in their veins at the sight of one another after knowing what it was like to be intimate was excruciating, and being paired together on cases knowing that they couldn't break any rules had them feeling like they were going to drown... But the pay-off after a long period of time with no physical contact was absolutely worth it.

All the secrecy and the holding back made it that much explosive when they finally got a decent moment alone.

Right now they were on their way back from a week-long case in Georgia.

And maybe it was fucked up, but once the team realized it was going to be rather grueling, the first thing Y/N thought was how better her stress relief was going to be when they finally finished. The second she thought it, she briefly glanced over at Spencer and saw that he had the same look on his face.

Even during the jet ride home, they were sitting on opposite sides while everyone slept around them, staring at each other and only breaking eye contact when someone rustled in their sleep.

Grueling images of the things they'd seen in the past week danced between them alongside flashes of all the things they wanted to do to each other as compensation. They heard faint screams and gunshots muffled by the high moans and shouts of each others' names, heavy breathing and skin slapping against skin...

The only word that sat between them as they clamored into Spencer's car and drove off was, "Drive."

It was late. They were exhausted and alert all at the same time. Their bodies were practically on fire. Y/N's leg bounced rapidly as Spencer's fingers tapped the steering wheel with fervor and impatience. And when he knew there would be no one around to pull them over for speeding, he stepped on the gas harder, and their heartbeats picked up right alongside their speed.

Even the walk up to his apartment was laced with impatience, Y/N's leg still bouncing as Spencer unlocked the door.

They rushed through it the second there was a tiny sliver of light from the dim nightlight she knew he kept in the entryway.

And then it was beautiful, heavenly chaos.

The door slammed loudly as Spencer leaned his whole body weight against Y/N, sending her flying towards it. They were drawn together like a magnet to a fridge, a moth to a flame, days of pent-up frustration and tension beginning its firework show right there in his entryway as their mouths clashed together.

No amount of contact was good enough it seemed, because it was just constant movement. Their hands wandered and their bodies pressed into each other continuously as they kissed the breath out of each other. Even still, they continued all the way to his bedroom, grunting while bumping into furniture and walls and doorways, but never daring to separate an inch all the same.

"God, I needed you," Spencer whispered once his bedroom door was shut. His hands tugged at her shirt and tried to get the buttons done as he continued. "All fucking week, you were just right there and I couldn't touch you..."

Y/N pressed her mouth to his and started hastily unbuttoning his shirt as well. After a few seconds, he pulled his mouth away and started to speak again, his fingers still trying to get her shirt undone. "I need it bad..."

With a frustrated grunt, Y/N pulled him in closer by the collar of his shirt and hissed into his mouth, "Then shut up and fucking take it..."

Her words kicked him in the ass and shot him forward, sending them flying towards the door once again. She yelped at the sharp pain that came and went as her back hit the wood, but with Spencer's hands finally tearing open her shirt and settling on her bare waist as he practically shoved his tongue down her throat, she couldn't complain.

Both of their shirts came off, and as soon as they hit the floor her hands went to his hair. She tugged on the wavy locks, a soft moan escaping her as he dipped his hands under the back of her bra and worked the clasp. It came off quickly, as it always did, and once it hit the floor he leaned down and gave her breasts all his attention. His tongue swirled around her nipples one my one, littering her skin with kisses in between and reveling in the way she kept tugging on his hair each time he gently tugged a nipple with his teeth.

Eventually, they both couldn't take any more, Y/N pushing his head down while tugging down her slacks and Spencer being glad she did, using his hands to assist her.

Having known for about a year now how heavenly his mouth was when it worked at her wasn't even a fair warning for the intensity of the shudders that soared through her body when his lips made contact with her clit just then. She let out a loud, broken cry of relaxation and relief and pure ecstasy as he practically devoured her.

His tongue was gliding through her with ease, ravening groans erupting from his throat and sending more sharp waves of excitement through Y/N's bloodstream with every passing second. His ministrations were quick and greedy, sloppy yet precise. And when he added his fingers to the mix, she gripped his hair tight and cried out his name, tensing at the sweet, burning stretch they provided.

That only drove him more wild, his tongue flicking over her clit faster while his fingers pumped, curled, and dragged languidly inside of her. He worked to pull every ounce of pleasure from her body, all while squeezing his eyes shut and losing himself in the taste of her, the way her thighs lightly trembled over his face and the desperate clutches of her fingers in his hair...

He wanted all of it. All of her.

He also wanted to hear that sound she made when he was helping her through the peak of her orgasm— a high, dreamy cry that boiled his insides and turned him into an animal.

And there it was, with just three more quick pumps of his fingers. It started off soft, though he knew the second he sucked on her clit and grazed her g-spot with his fingers it would careen higher and louder, right into that perfect pitch that he wished he could hear for eternity. Her thighs shook almost violently around his head, her fingers clawing at his scalp so tight that he felt little pinpricks of pleasure run down the back of his head and through his neck.

Y/N came down soon after, her voice resorting to small whimpers and pants as she tried to push his head away. But it wasn't until she actually tugged his hair up that Spencer finally retreated and got up off the floor.

"I thought you wanted me to take it?" he panted, already missing the warmth of her legs over his face.

She reached down and started toying with his belt, pulling him closer by the leather and throwing him a smirk. "Yeah, but now I wanna take it."

Before she could sink to her knees, though, he stopped her, walking her towards the bed and sitting her down as he finished taking off his pants. "Another time... Right now I need to be inside of you."

The urgency dripping in his voice and through his movements made Y/N burn all over again, and really, who was she to argue? Yeah, maybe she wanted to suck the living soul out of him, but his eagerness to get to the main event gave her the opportunity to treat him tomorrow morning. Spencer was always hard in the morning (at least on the rare occasion that she'd wake up before he did), and the thought of his sleepy groans and whines as she slowly worked his cock with her mouth was more than enough to keep her satisfied until then.

It also made her incredibly wet and ready, which was convenient when he climbed over her and bent her legs back, leaning forward and sinking into her in no time at all.

The sounds that came out of their mouths right then were exceedingly pornographic. It had been too long since their last sexual encounter, and even though they'd been at it plenty of times before, it still felt as intense and fresh as the first few times.

As aforementioned, they were obsessed.

Their song and dance of skink on skin never got old. Time and time again, it was like they'd never touched before, every feeling so intense it was like they were on the top of a rollercoaster that just kept falling and falling with no end in sight.

Every time he snapped his hips forward and and stretched her wide, her insides crumbled apart and gave way to his storm. She embraced his using of her body for pleasure, and he gave her the best orgasms in turn.

As of right now, she was caught between wanting to look down between their bodies to watch him fuck her and laying back to let it happen— take it all in that way and lose herself in the moment.

Though, she settled on the former, just as she always did, because watching Spencer fuck her was always the more exciting option. Especially when he was as urgent as he was now.

She watched with her bottom lip out in a pout as he fucked her, taking notice of how his hands looked gripping her waist and how his stomach tensed with every movement. Her eyes wandered over the planes of his body, and then finally his face. Usually he'd be so focused on the task at hand that his eyes would barely be open, taking in every ounce of pleasure that he possibly could, and that was exactly the case here. Fluttering eyes, pouty lips, flushed face, hair damp and wild as ever...

It drove her half mad.

"Harder," she demanded, reaching out and pulling him closer by the ass.

Spencer was more than happy to comply, a satisfied huff of laughter coming from him as he leaned down and sharpened his movements. His hips were heavier, pinning Y/N down into the mattress with every thrust forward, consequently drawing a little whimper from her each time.

To take it a step further and complete her request, he leaned back a little and pushed her legs open and wide, spreading her further and pinning her down that way to give his hips more driving force.

Unsurprisingly, neither of them lasted long after that.

Y/N shouted his name into the air, leaning her head back as her body tensed and gave in to his force. And he fucked her through it, his grunts gradually getting louder until his hips pushed into hers one final time, at which point he leaned down and put more of his weight on top of her.

As he filled her with his release, she sighed out, clenching herself around him and reveling in his warmth. Whether it was the warmth inside of her or the warmth he provided by blanketing her body with his own, she was glad for its presence. There was nothing else she'd rather have felt after a hard week at work—or any hard feat, really—than Spencer.

He retracted his warmth once they'd settled, however, removing himself from the bed on shaky limbs to grab wipes on the other side of the room.

And of course, Y/N admired him the whole way, flashing him a devilish wink when he inevitably caught her staring.

***

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[starshaped-dreamer]

'she said yes!' (bucky barnes x fem!reader)

w/c - 704

notes - just fluff. a cute date with bucky and he has a surprise for you >:) old story from my wattpad I'll post some new stuff soon lmao

warnings - none just my old writing :/

You smooth out your dress, waiting patiently outside your apartment block for Bucky to pick you up. He had called you earlier, saying rather excitedly he wanted to take you out on a surprise date. You weren't sure what had brought on the sudden spontaneity but you weren't complaining if it meant spending more time with Bucky.

You had met him two years ago thanks to your sister, Nat. She had always loved to play matchmaker and had very eagerly set you up with a 'super hot avenger she worked with'. Honestly, you hadn't expected for it to work out as well as it did. The two years of you dating Bucky had been some of the best two years of your life.

Bucky pulled up in a fancy black car, grinning as he got out to open the door for you. He was wearing the fanciest suit you'd ever seen him wear, which posed even more questions about what exactly he was planning.

"Where'd you get the car?" You asked with a grin, raising an eyebrow suspiciously.

"Hello to you too. I borrowed it from Tony."

You laughed, not being able to resist him in the suit anymore and standing on your toes to kiss him.

He pulled away after a moment, resting his hands on your waist. "You look beautiful tonight. You look beautiful every night."

You blushed, thanking him before getting in the car. "Are you going to tell me where we're going?"

"Be patient, doll. You'll see soon enough."

You tapped your foot, the suspense making you even more impatient. But by the excited look on Bucky's face you knew it was going to be good.

He finally pulled up at a park, near the bustling business of the street but far enough to still be quiet and secluded. He got out quickly, running around the side of the car to open the door for you.

He intertwined your fingers together as he led you through the park. Eventually you made it through the trees to a gorgeous clearing.

A picnic blanket lay on the ground, covered in delicious food and a bottle of champagne. Fairy lights twined themselves through the branches of the nearby trees, giving the whole setup a romantic ambiance.

"Buck... this is beautiful!"

He smiled, watching the wonder on your face. "You like it?"

"Are you kidding? I love it!" You walk around, admiring the setup more before turning around to face Bucky again.

But what you saw was even more of a surprise.

Bucky.

On one knee.

Holding a velvet box with the most beautiful diamond ring you'd ever seen in it.

Your hands slowly went up to your mouth as you gasped, realising what was happening.

"Y/N," Bucky grinned, looking slightly nervous before continuing, "ever since I met you I knew you were the one for me. I have never smiled as much in my whole life than I have when I spend a day with you. You are the greatest thing that's ever happened to me and I want to call you mine forever. Y/N Y/L/N, I love you. So, I'm asking now, will you marry me?"

You could feel the tears of joy running down your face as you nodded your head. He let out a joyful cheer as he stood up, slipping the ring on your finger before lifting you up and spinning you around. When he placed you down, he kissed you gently, a celebration of being able to call you his. You rested your forehead against his, smiling. "I love you, Bucky Barnes."

"And I love you, doll."

You stood there a few more moments before he looked over to the trees in the darkness.

"She said yes!" He yelled out to the trees, and Nat ran out excitedly. Your sister wrapped her arms around your neck happily.

"I should become a professional matchmaker, screw this avengers business," she said and you laughed. You had never felt happier than you were feeling now, surrounded by the people you love.

And even better, you were to become a Barnes.

[defectivehero]

Hi, I don't know if you're still taking requests but, could you write on this? It's a Purge night in the city, and all the Villians are gathering up to do some real damage. As it's the purge night, and any crime they do, they won't be getting arrested or anything for it. So this time, all the villians have gathered up together to take their revenge on [Hero]. And it was [Hero] who beat them up, locked them up, and all for all the crimes they ever did. And now, they all seek vengeance. And [hero] is unaware of the catastrophe that's about to come onto them.

Just when this attack was getting planned, [villian] heard about it, and their heart went still. They ARE a part of that group that's going to attack on Hero, and they have to do all that they can, to save them from this.

You don't have to answer if you find it weird tho! It really is😂💀

this is not weird at all, anon. it’s a great idea, so thanks.

The hero sighed, looking down at the pavement as they walked. They just wanted to go home, stumble into their pajamas, and go to sleep. Unfortunately, they were hardly even halfway through their patrol for the day. So, it seemed that they had a long way to go. Sighing dramatically, the hero kept walking, occasionally glancing around for any suspicious activity. Honestly, they felt like a police dog-being sent to do whatever the agency wanted. Seriously...

Suddenly, they felt someone crash into them, sending them falling into a nearby alleyway. Groaning, they pushed themselves to their feet, and looked around to see what had hit them.

“Hey.”

The hero whipped around, dread coiling in their stomach when they realized that the villain was standing in the dimly lit alleyway. Grimacing, they took a cautious step backwards, frowning when the villain matched that with a step forward.

“Hi,” the hero replied hesitantly, looking around the deserted alleyway. It was pretty dirty, surrounded by grimy brick walls and garbage bags littering the ground.  “Was that you that crashed into me?” they asked, lightly kicking the garbage bag in their path.

“No, that was the raccoon in that dumpster,” the villain remarked in annoyance, disgusted expression on their face as they took another step into the dirty alleyway. The hero glanced over to where they were pointing, rolling their eyes as they saw the raccoon scavenging through the trash. “Yes, I crashed into you,” the villain huffed. They made a show of brushing off their coat and pants, and the hero had to resist the urge to roll their eyes. Instead, they voiced their thoughts.

“Why did you feel the need to tackle me off the street?”

“You don’t know,” the villain muttered to themselves in disbelief. The hero looked at them blankly. “Of course you don’t- you absolute idiot.” They continued to swear colorfully, calling the hero names they hadn’t even heard of. Some of them were quite creative, the hero had to admit.

“Know what?” the hero asked, immediately regretting asking when they saw the villain facepalm. They swallowed their pride and listened silently as the villain began to explain.

“Every villain ever is after you right now,” the villain said, gesturing emphatically.  Their eyes were wide, and they seemed to be searching the hero’s face for some sort of reaction. It almost looked like they were... concerned? No, the hero thought to themselves. The villain doesn’t do concern.  “And by every villain, I mean literally every villain except me.”

The hero swallowed hard. “What- why?” they exclaimed. “What did I do? I’m just doing my job, it’s nothing personal-” they broke off, realization setting in. “Wait... except you?”

“Uh no- no, that’s not what I said,” the villain stumbled. “I’m just letting you know. I’m just the messenger,” they continued, voice cracking. The hero took a mental note of the way the villain fidgeted, eyes flitting around as if they couldn’t make eye contact with them.

“Still,” the hero squinted at the villain. “You didn’t have to tell me. You could’ve just let me get jumped by this villain group, so why didn’t you?” They were struggling to understand why the villain would tell them, help them-

“Um,” the villain answered eloquently. The hero stared at them, eyebrow raised as they waited for their response. “You know.”

“Just spit it out,” the hero snapped, adrenaline coursing through them. The villain flinched at the sudden outburst, before clearing their throat awkwardly.

“Yes, well,” the villain tried to say. “I just- I need you. You balance me out. Without you, I wouldn’t really be much of anything, I guess.” The villain had the grace to look embarrassed, cheeks flushed.

The hero stared at them in silence. Was that really what they meant to the villain? Was their relationship truly that complex? Yes, it was, they thought to themselves.

“It’s your choice,” the villain shrugged nonchalantly. “Either you come with me willingly, or, well... unwillingly.” What did they just say? Willingly or unwillingly?

“It doesn’t sound like you’re giving me a choice,” the hero whispered, shoving their hands in their pockets to hide their shakiness.  What would they do? What could they do?

“Nope, no choice, really,” the villain agreed, clapping a hand on their shoulder. “So, I suggest you walk with me now. Unless, of course, you wanted to go the alternative route...” they smirked, reaching into their pocket and pulling out an ominous-looking syringe.

“Okay, fine,” the hero acquiesced. The villain grinned at them, before placing their hand on the small of their back and leading them out of the alleyway. The hero followed, against their better judgement.

“So, where are we going?” the hero asked, trying to distract themselves and steel their nerves. “Your secret base? Ooh, a lair? That would be cool-”

“My house,” the villain replied, glancing at the hero with a strange expression on their face.

“Oh.”

[lixnininotnay]

Hey do u think you could just do some yan hank x reader :) thank u :)

Hello, and thank you for being the first one to send me a request! And sorry for making you wait for so long, first I thought doing a few headcanons, but soon my ideia became an one-shot, and then it turned out in a full story (sort of, lol). Let's start this tragedy! I hope you enjoy it.

Warning: this story contains a lot murder, description of death, blood, emotional, psychological and physical abuse, kidnapping, unhealthy relationships and behavior, yandere, obsession and others topics. It's not recommended to read it if you are uncomfortable with any of those.

P.s.: if I forgot to put some warning or if you spot any grammatical error, please tell me! I would be thankful.

All the mistakes you made (A Yandere!Hank x reader story)

Chapter I. - Your first mistake.

You kicked and squirmed against the man who held you in a grip that felt like steel, but even though you were giving it your all, your resistance was showing no result. In fact, it looked to him like you were just a rag doll that he was carrying on his shoulder, but it was also because you were weak and heavily injured.

"Let me go, your fucking bastard!" You hissed. No answer. He just continued walking stilly, like if it was the most ordinary thing that ever happened.

But to be truthful, that wasn't the most eccentric thing he'd ever done. Hank was famous for causing large-scale massacres, but you didn't believe in it before, after all, how could a single person destroy entire units by himself and without leaving any witnesses?

You thought it was all a farce, that in reality it was a group that was after all this killing, and they pretended to be only one person to strike fear so nobody would try to counter them. So you ended up accepting the mission to go after that guy called "Hank" in order to investigate further and see if your theory was correct, you were curious to see the truth. That was your first mistake. You were in an arsenal of the A.A.H.W. with other mercenaries and agency members, they apparently managed to locate approximately where his base is and planned to attack in a large number, and they also talked about the possiblity of having a pizza party that might happen after, but you didn't mind too much.

While everyone was getting ready and arming themselves to the teeth, you could hear an explosion noise, followed by gunfire and screams filled of agony. Everything happened so fast that you couldn't ratiocinate correctly.

You quickly obeyed your senses and threw yourself behind a pillar, thus protecting yourself from the barrage of gunfire that followed right after, that covered the entire room in red and yellow. After everyone realized that the enemy had finally run out of ammo, the ones who survived came out of their hiding places and started trying to fight back, but were quickly killed one by one. Picking up an AK-74, you tried to get as far away as possible, knowing that facing danger head-on would be futile.

Going up a staircase and reaching a higher landing, you got behind a container and peeked out to see who the enemies were. As a consequence, taking a fright when realizing that it was just one person, not a group, easily killing several with just a katana in hand. You tried to ignore this fact and focus on the battle, firing and managing to land two shots on him.

Hank rapidly became annoyed, and started to ignore the agents that were going at him and changed his direction to you and the other two snipers who were on your side. For a split second, as he lifted his head to see where the shots were coming from, you could see bloodlust in his eyes, similar to a malicious and hungry animal, it was terrifying.

And then he began to move in a fierce way, brutally slicing anyone on his path to you. You were trying to reload your gun and to back away even more, but he had already gone up the stairs, kicked the closest sniper in the face causing them to hit their head against the wall, instantly killing them. He tried to cut you in half with his katana right away, but you managed to hold the blow using the AK-74 and kicked him in the stomach, pushing him away.

The second sniper tried to shoot him, but Hank managed to ricochet two bullets, hitting them back and in the meantime you bolted behind a wall, he took the gun from the first one he killed, and you started exchanging shots. You got hit twice, once in the shoulder and once in the abdomen, and you ran out of bullets, when he realized that, he went straight towards you and tucked the gun behind his back. You tried to run away, but he had already reached and started to strangle you, he wanted to have the satisfaction of killing you with his bare hands.

You struggled for air, but his grip was stronger, you could see the sadistic urge to kill in him, without showing an ounce of pity.

Just when you thought it was your end, the second soldier shot Hank, before they took their last breath and died in their own blood trail made after they crawled close enough to aim. In the second he momentarily loosened his grip, even though you were still dizzy from the lack of air, you managed to grab the gun from Hank's back after the shot, struck him with it, taking him off you and getting up quickly with the help of the the wall, trying to hold the gun and aim it, shivering from the adrenaline, bruises and out of breath.

"It's over. Just give up already." You demanded.

"You're a really annoying bitch." Hank hissed, still on the floor and with one hand on the left side of his face, where you hit him and cracked the glass of his goggles.

And all of a sudden, just when you thought Hank was finished, he got up, you tried to react but your movements were still slow. He grabbed the gun from your hands, caught you around the neck with his other hand, making you bang your head against the wall and then knocking you to the ground. The impact was so bad that you felt blood seeping from your lips and a tremendous headache, making you whimper in pain. Hank just chuckled at your state.

"Goin' down that easily? You're pathetic." Hank mocked you as he approximated. You tried to creep away but he stepped on your back, stopping you once more. He bent down to look at you closely, your eyes still had the slendor of the desire to fight and survive, an expression on the face from someone that wouldn't give up yet, he loved it. He stopped for a second to think, then continued. "Y'know what? I liked you, just love your type." You tried to process what he told you, but nothing made sense. "I'm keepin' you with me. Stay here." He said as he got off from you, but before shooting one of your legs. What made you scream out loud in pain, the adrenaline of the moment passed causing all the pain to hit you at once, while Hank came down from the platform to kill the rest of the agents, and the A.T.P. soldiers and mags that just arrived.

Everything in you hurts, even breathing, it was hard to relax. You spent a few minutes lying on the floor listening to the gunshots and screams in the background that haunted your ears, sounds that were becoming more muffled as the time passed, and trying to somehow control the pain, however your efforts did not yield results, the burning sensation of your wounds remained and you were struggling to not faint. When your vision started to get blurry, you heard something:

"Hello? Anyone's listening? Hello?" You turned your head to the voice, it was coming from the room that had the radio. "I repeat, anyone's listening?"

Clinging to what you thought was a glimmer of hope, you rise up with difficulty from the ground and began to stumble to the station, almost slipping in your own puddle of blood. After arriving with difficulty in the chamber, you answered. "Yes, (Y/N) talking, it's an emergency." You battled to say, your throat felt like it was on fire.

"What happened?"

"Hank invaded the base, we need units, NOW!" You tried to demand, your voice was still weak.

"It will take some time, we don't have any available next to your location." That irritated you.

"For the fuck sakes, we don't have time--" They hung up, wich made you rage and question if all your efforts were in vain.

You tried to keep your composure, after stopping for a few seconds to calm down, you rummaged around and found some bandages and an adrenaline shot in one of the lockers, which you used to cover the wounds and applied to yourself, now managing to stand up and even walk. And digging a little further you found a knife bag with a knife inside, which you decided to hide in one of your boots, and a pistol that you kept in your hands.

When you left the room, you decided that you were going to run away without anyone noticing, to hell the reward money. Watching your surroundings and hiding behind the containers, you saw that Hank was no longer in sight which made you panic, but you also saw the body of the guy who saved you, you tried to check their pulse, but they were gone.

"Thank you. Rest in peace, my man." You said in respect, while closing their eyes, knowing that if they didn't help, you would be dead. Before getting up and leaving you saw that in their pocket there was a grenade, which you decided to take.

You rushed down the stairs and walked down one of the long corridors for what felt like hours, the place looked like a maze full of corpses, making it obvious that Hank has been through here. Entering and turning in several corridors, trying to remember where is the exit, made you regret to not paying attention and memorize the place, this base was gigantic.

Hearing heavy footsteps approaching you, you entered a room that looked like a dormitory and hid under a bunk bed, carrying the pistol. You heard the door open again.

"You really don't obey when someone says to, do you?" You can feel the irritation in his speech, sounded like Hank was searching for you for some time already.

He began looking around the room for you, kicking and knocking over some furniture in the process, you started crawling under the beds trying to make as much silence as possible and get next to the door. For a moment he stopped and was silent, a sudden movement that made you uneasy. He was trying to hear you. After what seemed an eternity of silence, he turned his head towards the bed you were hiding underneath.

Fuck it.

You abruptly ran to the door for your life, and before he could do anything, you took aim and started shooting towards him to keep your distance and threw the grenade at him, closing the entrance as you left. Even though, he protected himself with using the beds, leaving no major injuries on him, it really took him by surprise. Hank didn't expect that you could do all of this for your bruises, you sure were an interesting person. Now he really wants you.

You sprinted as fast as you could, your movements becoming more clumsy as the pain returned, but it didn't stop you. Finally finding the exit, you spotted a vehicle that could easily get in and hot-wire it, but wasn't able to, despair making it even harder. In this short meantime, you felt a pair of hands pulling you by the collar of your shirt and pulling you out of the vehicle.

"You really know how to get under my skin." he admitted, both out of admiration and irritation in a threatening way, looking directly in your eyes. And he threw you over his shoulder, hurting you and making you drop your pistol in the process. He couldn't be gentle even if his life depended on it. "I'd have drive us both to the base, but you are such a fucking annoyance that makes it impossible." And then he started walking with you on his shoulder.

What he said made you shiver, what was he planning to do with you? You started to struggle, waiting for him to let go of you, but he just held you tighter. You soon ran out of strength and gave up, getting more tired and weaker by every minute, all this agitation was too much for you, so eventually, you end up passing out from exhaustion.

Hank still couldn't figure out what he found so fascinating about you, maybe because you, a nobody, managed to survive him for so long, few did, or because of your determination and how you surprised him, or even the way you looked at him, he loved to see that mixture of fear, hate and will to live in your face, it was so intriguing.

Whatever it was, he wouldn't be worrying and questioning himself nonstop right now, he didn't need to. Because he would have all the time he wanted to discover now.

[rattyoakenbitch]

❝𝐢𝐟 𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐝❞ ─ 𝐥𝐞𝐯𝐢 𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧

i don't want your sympathy, i guess ive had it rough but you don't really care

❥ content ; gn reader, eventual fluff, angst, pining, happy ending

❥ warnings ; injury, swearing, mentions of death

❥ synopsis ; when you get badly injured during a mission, only then does levi realize the depths of his feelings for you. now the question is, is it too late?

❥ a/n ; i don't have a taglist yet so feel free to ask to get added!

You glided through the trees alongside your team, adrenaline running through your veins.

Kicking yourself off a tree, you landed your body with ease onto a lone Titan spotted in the forest below you. With a swift swing of the blade, the Titan was on the ground.

Finished, you zipped yourself back into the air, joining your team member's formation as you all flew together.

"Y/N!" Captain Levi shouted, resent dripping off of his words. Here we go again. "Do not deviate from original course! We are here to scout, not to thrill seek."

The team came to a slow. They stood on the branches, overlooking the land beneath them.

"I was not thrill seeking, sir, I was doing my job," you defended, turning to Captain Levi. Though he was shorter than you were, his cold stare and unwavering demeanor intimidated you.

"Your job is to follow my orders, brat, not go off wandering like an idiot!"

"I didn't wander, I was quick to regroup! You're just finding a reason to take your anger out on me," you retorted. "Then again, I wouldn't be surprised. Considering your height, it's no wonder you can barely contain your anger in such a small body."

As much as he wanted to push you off the tree, Levi kept his poise.

By now the team could hear you and Levi's bickering, but considering they were used to it, they decided to butt out and focus on planning the route.

"Stable duty when we get back."

And then he walked away, leaving you fuming.

As you continued with the scouting mission, you encountered too many Titans that you couldn't just brush them off. Angry and left with no choice, Levi shouted orders to forget the original plan and fight back.

Out of the corner of your eye, you spotted two Titans approaching Jean and Armin with intent. You narrowed your eyes. This was your chance. You bolted off the tree, flying fast towards the two Titans. You got your gear out, ready to slice their napes, when one of the Titans looked your way, a sick smile on its face.

"Y/N!" Armin called out in a panic as the Titan extended its arm, swiping at you like a fly. Before its hand could collide with you, you were pushed out of the way by none other than Levi.

He wrapped his arms around you securely, one underneath your bottom and his other around your back. You heard him whisper a profanity, his hot breath fanning your neck as he spoke. Though it wasn't the time or the place, you couldn't help but let your mind wander.

You were brought back to reality when Levi glided deeper into the forest, setting you down onto the ground harsher than necessary.

Totally caught off guard, your back was shoved against a tree. Levi was quick to block your exits, predicting you would try to resist.

His arms caged you between him and the tree, leaving little to no distance between your bodies. You could feel your face get hot, either out of embarrassment or his body heat mixing with yours.

"What the hell is wrong with you, brat?!" Yelled Levi, eyes wild with rage. However, something felt different about this compared to when he scolded you for separating from the group. But you couldn't quite put your finger on it.

"Me?" You scoffed. "You're the crazy psycho who stole me away and cornered me in this forest!" You pushed at his chest, successfully shoving him off of you. "I had everything under control."

"You were almost killed! I can't have reckless people on my team. I'm a captain, not a babysitter, so get your shit together or get the hell off my team."

You stood against the tree quietly, Levi's venomous words stunning you into silence. Levi continued to stare deep into your eyes, his expression never changing. However, as the seconds passed, you saw a sliver of regret in his eyes, lasting only for a mere second.

You took a deep breath, trying to choose your words carefully. "I- Just.. Why do you hate me so much?"

Levi raised a brow while you continued to speak.

"I know I'm not the best fighter. Not compared to Misaka or Eren. But what did I do to deserve so much hatred from you? Even when I'm not doing anything wrong, you look at me like I'm the most disgusting person you've seen."

Despite feeling a sting of guilt at your words, Levi put on a dismissive act. "Tch, you're being dramatic. I'm not about to discuss this with you."

Why the fuck did he say that?

"Maybe if you listened to me for two damn seconds you wouldn't get such an earful."

Why is he being such an asshole? Gods, just tell them already. Stop this bullshit.

No longer finding it in you to care, you began to raise your voice, angry tears spilling down your face. "I try my best to make you like me. I try to show you that I'm capable and strong, but you still treat me as if I'm inferior. Like my skills are nothing. Like I'm nothing."

Emotionless, Levi replied, "Because you are. Look at you. You're a crybaby. You should've stayed back." Lies. All lies.

"Ugh- well maybe you should've just let me get killed since you despise me so much!"

With that, you grab your gear and zip away as far from Levi as possible, tears blowing out of your face and into the wind.

"Hey, where are you going?!"

You ignored him as you continued to speed through the trees, searching for your team. Your friends. Anybody.

"Y/N! Look out!"

You heard Eren shout, making you spin around frantically to search for the danger.

There it was.

An Abnormal ran your way, crawling like a dog on its hands and feet.

It had been chasing the team for a while now, evident in its animalistic, hungry look.

Steadily hanging off a branch, you watch the Titan from afar, then look back at the team.

"I'll distract it! You guys go!"

They looked at you as if you had grown two extra heads.

"You'll die!" Mikasa argued. "We can take it!"

"Just go!"

The Titan started to get closer. The team looked behind you, then back at you. Though they looked ready and determined to take it down, you knew they felt as terrified as you were. Fighting Titans was just something you don't think you'll ever get used to.

"Please be careful. We're gonna find Captain Levi!"

You nodded, then turned around, watching as the Titan ran towards you, totally disregarding the rest of the team.

"You want me? Come get me."

When you decided it was close enough, you darted into the forest and soared through the trees, only narrowly missing them. The Abnormal followed you, but hit itself on the trees and destroyed many in the process.

While the Abnormal continued to run through the forest, leaves and trees blocking its direct vision of you, you took a chance and turned back, flying past the Abnormal.

You did a quick u-turn and hopped onto its back.

You got it now.

As it chased after nothing, completely unaware, you slashed the nape of its neck.

With you still on its back, the Titan went limp mid-jump, falling onto the ground hard enough to create an earthquake. Unprepared for the collision, you went flying off its body.

Instead of bracing yourself for the fall, you frantically reached for your gear in an attempt to glide back up to the trees.

Before you got the chance, your body met with the ground, a loud thud echoing from the impact.

In the distance, the rest of the team continued to fight until they got to the very last Titan. Levi, though he was the last to regroup, helped effectively take down the Titans.

It wasn't evident in his stoic expression, but he searched among his surroundings and the faces of his team for you, afraid the worst had happened. Dammit, why did he have to be such an asshole? What Levi said to you, he meant none of it. But he feared he wouldn't get the chance to tell you that. Idiot.

"Is everybody here?!" Levi shouted as his team gathered around him.

"Yeah, we're alive-"

"Wait, where's Y/N?"

The team began to search among themselves, now becoming anxious as well.

"Well, where are they? Did you not see them at all?" Levi asked in a calm tone, despite his heart beat pounding in his ears. No. He wasn't going to slip up. Not here, not now. He needed to remain strong.

Mikasa spoke up. "We last saw them when we were being chased by an Abnormal! They offered to distract it and take care of it themselves."

Levi shouted, a crack in his voice, "And you let them?!"

"Y/N is strong! One of the best fighters we have here," Eld said. "They've probably already taken it down by now."

"Then where are they?!" Levi growled, becoming more frustrated by the second.

"Hey, look!" Armin yelled, shaking his finger towards the steam in the distance. "Eld was right! Y/N did kill it after all!"

Wasting no more time, Levi commanded the team to follow him. Soon again, they were up in the trees, running your direction. They stopped as soon as they came across a clearing in the forest where the Abnormal laid lifelessly.

"Everyone! Find Y/N!"

The team split, searching the area for any sign of you.

Levi dreaded the thought of finding you like they found the Titan. No. You killed it. You had to be alive.

Levi repeated that in his head. You had to be alive.

Because if you weren't, he wouldn't know what he would do.

Your eyes shot open at the sound of panicked screams echoing around you. You pushed yourself off of the ground in a rush, only to stumble back with an agonizing scream, pain shooting up the lower half of your body.

"Fucking hell! Oh shit," you fell back on the grass defeatedly, hot tears welling in your eyes at the intense pain and aches across your whole body. "Dammit!"

You didn't know which bones were broken, where you were, if you were bleeding out. So you just laid there alone, helpless and numb. Waiting.

Just when the team was beginning to lose hope, a blood curdling scream echoed throughout the forest, easily catching the team's attention. They headed towards the source of the sound, but Levi was the first on it, already sprinting through the forest to find you.

When he did, he felt his heart drop down to his stomach. You laid in a small clearing behind some old trees and bushes, a puddle of blood beneath your body. Your uniform was torn and your 3DMG was rendered useless at this point. If not for the scream, or the fast rise and fall of your chest, he would've mistaken you for being dead.

Levi rushed to your side and got onto his knees, lifting up your body into his arms.

"Y/N? Can you hear me? Y/N?"

You coughed, wheezing and struggling to make a coherent sound. Blood dripped down the corner of your mouth as you spoke, "You were right, Captain. I never stood a chance, did I?Shoulda just stayed." You laughed pitifully.

Now Levi was angry, but not at you. "Shut up! Don't say stupid shit like that! You're going to be okay."

The team found you, stopping short at the sight of Levi holding you carefully, like a porcelain doll, ready to break.

He didn't care anymore. He didn't bother to put up a front. Not when you were like this, half dead in his arms. He pressed his forehead to yours, whispering in your ear so only you could hear.

"I can't lose you too.."

Everyone else only continued to watch the intimate scene unfold before them.

When you fell unconcious, Levi squeezed his eyes shut, trying his best to keep his composure. Why was he acting like this? Usually he would be quick to solve problems without letting his feelings get in the way. Why was he so helpless now?

He turned around, scowling at the group who just stood by idly.

"Get over here and help them, you fools!"

You hated it. You hated having to be looked after or saved like a princess in a children's storybook. You didn't want to run away anymore, or simply stand in waiting, hoping for someone to rescue you. You were done being hunted. So you joined the Scouts after years of hard work and training. If you had only thought more carefully or put your parent's advice in consideration, you wouldn't be in your current situation, regretting ever joining Levi's team. You wouldn't have ended up in the infirmary.

You passed out in Levi's arms after suffering from injuries during your fight with the Abnormal Titan, according to your friends. They came by to visit you when the medic alerted them that you had woken up from your coma.

"How long was I out for?" You winced as you massaged your still pounding head. "When did I even get here?"

"You've been unconcious for two days. We retreated to the city as Captain Levi instructed and you've been under their care since," Eren answered. He noticed your demeanor as you looked around the room and picked at your skin, a nervous habit you recently formed. "Everybody's alive, so don't you worry."

"Where are they?"

"Well, they did have to receive medical attention since they got hurt, but they're okay! They miss you, ya know?" Armin said excitedly. "We'll make sure to fill you in on everything when you're out of here."

You pursed your lips. "Speaking of which, when will I be discharged?"

"You can't exactly walk right now, but.. you should be up and ready to go within a week! Then we can go on another mission and-"

"Eren. Armin. Mikasa." Your attention was torn away from Eren, your eyes darting towards the source of the voice.

"Captain Levi!" They all exclaimed in unison.

"I would like to speak with Y/N in private." He glanced at trio, his eyes narrowing. "Out."

The three walked out, heads bowed like sad little puppies. You waved at them as they went before turning to Levi who now stood by your bed.

"What do you want?" You asked bitterly, nose scrunching up in a sneer.

"Commander Erwin informed me of your decision," he spoke softly, differing from his usual cold tone.

You huffed. "Yeah, took your advice and resigned. You won't have to worry about babysitting me anymore."

A pang of guilt shot through Levi's heart, causing him to flinch. He hoped you didn't catch that.

He remembered his own regretful words as it replayed in his head. Just like your cries and pained expression, which he was unable to simply brush off, he couldn't forget how he mistreated you. And he would never forgive himself, either. The sight of your injured body laying there, all alone. He couldn't shake the scene off his mind, no matter how hard he tried. Even in his dreams.

Evident in his eyebags that seemed to have darkened in shade, he wasn't able to get much sleep the past couple days because of it.

"I take it you hate me, then," Levi suggested, prompting you to laugh mockingly.

"Oh, no, I could never," you said, sarcasm dripping off your voice as you fake fawned over Levi. "Levi Ackerman, Humanity's Strongest.. I just adore you."

Levi hid his offended expression and ignored your antics as he continued. "I was afraid I couldn't get the chance to apologize to you. When I found you there, I.." He squeezed his eyes shut and furrowed his brows together, forcing his tears not to fall. Why now?

"Yeah, well, you fucked up. About time you feel a little heartache," you mumbled, looking around the room, anywhere but Levi.

"A little?! Look, I'm trying to apologize here!" He shouted. "Do you have no idea how fucking terrified I've been for you, you brat?!"

"No, Captain Levi, so why don't you enlighten me on how much you care?!" You huffed, crossing your arms. "Because if you did, then maybe I wouldn't be bed ridden!"

Levi's face softened at the sight of a single tear escaping your eye. He took a seat on the bed beside you and reached out to brush away your tear.

With your quick reflexes, you caught his hand and pushed it back towards him.

"Don't you dare touch me. You've done enough damage, Levi. Just go and stop wasting my time."

Just like you, he was stubborn. He stood his ground.

"I-I'm sorry."

You let out an exasperated sigh. "You must think I'm stupid. No way I'm buying that bullshit."

"You need to stop pushing me away, Y/N!"

"What is that, an order?" You taunted. "You don't get to be sorry, Levi. It's too late for that. You waited for me to almost die just to tell me that? Is that what it takes? What if I hadn't survived? What then?"

"You don't think I haven't thought about that?! That's why I'm here!"

"Yeah, and who's fault is that?"

"You should've listened to me! I was trying to protect you!"

"Well thanks a lot. Now both my kneecaps are broken and I won't be able to walk for weeks!" You shake your head. "You think just because we shared a moment while I was dying that I'm okay now? Trust me, if I had the strength, I would have slapped you then and there."

"Then why don't you now?"

"At this point, you're not even worth getting angry over. So stop giving me that pitiful look. I really prefer you shouting at me instead. At least I'm used to it." You mumble the last part, but Levi catches it easily.

"That's it then, you leave me no choice." You look at Levi curiously. "You infuriate me, brat, you really do. You're so careless and oblivious all the time, you forget to look after yourself. And I'm not ready to watch you throw away your life so irrationally from the sidelines."

"So what are you trying to tell me, Levi?"

"Tch, you're just gonna make me say it, aren't you?" He takes a deep breath. "I'm not good at this, and I hate to admit it, to you of all people. It makes me mad to see you risk your life because I care about you.. and I can't lose you. I've dealt with too much death. I'll do whatever it takes to keep you alive, even if it means dying.." Levi trails off, then scoffs and crosses his arms like a petty little child. "I said it, all right? I like you-- A lot, you stupid brat!"

You searched Levi's eyes for any trace of dishonesty. You hoped he was lying, like he had some sort of script prepared before he came to see you. But you found no lies in his eyes.

You felt your heart break. All this time when you thought Levi just really hated you, he was looking out for you.

"I.. Why didn't you just tell me?" Your voice fell apart as you spoke. "I tried so hard to make you like me back.. And it hurt because I thought you just hated my guts. I had no idea."

"I know, I was being stupid too- It shouldn't have come to this," Levi admitted. "I.. I'll let you rest now."

Levi stood up to leave, but you were quick to pull him back onto the bed with you. Without letting him react, you grabbed his face and interlocked your lips with his. All the tension in his body disappeared and he melted into the kiss, throwing his arms around you tightly like he'd lose you if he ever let go. It wasn't a soft, romantic, movie perfect kiss. It was desperate, tongue and teeth, hands wandering, disheveling the other's hair. You released all of your built up anger and resent, letting it fuel you while you aggresively fought your tongue with his, a faint taste a hint of alcohol now on your own mouth. Occasionally you'd both break the kiss for short intakes of breath and small whispers like 'don't scare me like that again' and 'I've needed this for a while now'. You couldn't help but moan, earning a grin from Levi as he continued to hungrily devour your lips. Just as things escalated, you remembered you were still in the infirmary, and anyone could walk in any minute now. You slowly pulled away, your chest heaving as you panted for breath.

Levi couldn't help but twist his lips up into a little smirk. That was new.

"Well at least you're not a bad first kisser," he spoke nonchalantly, still gasping for air. You playfully punched him in the chest.

"Quite the romantic, aren't you?" You rolled your eyes but couldn't stop yourself from smiling like an idiot. "You're not bad either, old man."

Blush spread across his cheeks.

He took your hand in his, bringing it to his swollen and raw lips and placed a small kiss on your knuckles.

"Promise me you won't leave me again?"

"Promise," you sighed blissfully. "And I guess I'll have to tell Commander Erwin about my change of plans."

"Actually," a deep voice spoke. At the door, there stood none other than Commander Erwin. "I think I already know."

[teyvattherapist]

Once you write for Baal, I'll request her with Mona and Kazuha with the god of fate.

Like the usual

I also added Thoma per your other inquiry!

tags: m!reader/Baal, m!reader/Mona, m!reader/Kazuha, m!reader/Thoma, God!Reader, Khaenri'ah spoilers, Inazuma archon quest spoilers, just spoilers in general.

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Khaenri’ah wouldn’t have had any survivors if it hadn’t been for a particular man that seemed unfazed by the battlefield the once prosperous nation of humanity became. Neither Khaenri’ahn nor from Celestia, simply an outlander. Despite showing great fighting prowess and strategic skill, Khaenri’ah had still fallen under the watchful gaze of the man. Of course, this was just a legend, a small rumour only known by the most curious of historians or academics. And even then, it’s debated. With the legacy of Khaenri’ah long gone, all that was left was anecdotal evidence.

Baal

-Divinity, humanity, both pale in comparison to eternity. You were nothing more than something in her way. Much like the rest of Khaenri’ah as a whole. To her you were nothing more than inferior. And she didn’t stop to take the time to investigate like Morax had nor did she take the time to recognise the marks of stars like Barbatos.

-Her ideals quickly shattered when she realised Divine Punishment means nothing when faced by another of her status. A divine being capable of braving the lightning’s glow. Too prideful to admit her defeat she proved to be quite a thorn in your side during the war. But even one whose ideal is closest unto Heaven cannot compete with the one who controlled Fate.

-Baal has all but forgotten the faraway God, too focused on her own ideals, too focused on herself in the present day to remember such an aimless point in time. In a closed off nation tucked away on the sea, talk of your presence in Teyvat went unheard by the Raiden Shogun.

The 100th vision hunt decree ceremony was commemorative. The Goddess turned to face the crowd of onlookers, violet eyes narrowing at an almost familiar face standing towards the back. You lifted your head to her, flashing the Shogun a smile before pulling the notebook from the black and gold cloak. Almost too quickly her attention turned back to the man kneeling at the foot of the statue. Her 100th vision.

Baal lifted her hand, summoning the pyro vision to her and despite the blond’s attempts at keeping his vision they were futile as it soared through the air towards the Goddess. You almost dropped your pen when Aether pushed by you, using his newfound electro abilities as a boost to snatch the vision. An interesting but not surprising turn of events that was scrawled into the notebook.

You watched as she brought her blade up to strike an unconscious Aether. The taller blond managed to get his binds off, throwing the polearm that she then deflected. The blowback caused Aether and Paimon to go flying backwards into the blond. As they ran off she gave the order to seize them under the decree, turning back to look up at the statue. That was your cue to leave, the work had been done for now.

When Baal turned to look back at the crowd she got the glimpse of that cloak that seemed to come back to haunt her departing from the crowd.

Mona

-Ah the great astrologist Mona. One who believes fate cannot be changed nor reversed, merely accepted. How funny an outlook. Though you’d never tell her that, she is for all that she’s worth, a wonderful astrologist. But that was the thing with mortal magicians, even they could get things such as fate wrong.

-She tried only once to glimpse into the mysterious stranger’s destiny. But when one has no destiny, what does she see? The threads of fate themselves have barred her vision into him. To her he is an uncertain piece in what should be absolute certainty.

-This however just makes her curious to know more. She thinks she’s being sneaky as she follows you around to try and garner more information. But Mondstadt isn’t all that big and her hat is very telling.

You narrowed your eyes at the telltale sign of somebody watching you, you lifted your head to look around but there were no more stares than the usual ones that came with being a stranger in a small nation. You did notice, however, a very familiar witch occupying herself with the fruit stand. Could she even afford that? Probably not. You bowed your head to Flora, tucking the windwheel aster behind your ear as you made off.

Mona put the apple back, waiting a few moments before she followed you down the cobblestone path. This was the problem with magicians in every world, always far too curious for their own good. You turned a corner to try and get her off your tail, you had far too much work to do to deal with her nosing around. She was smart, though. You had to give her that as you pressed your back against the wall of the alleyway, waiting for her to go by.

“I just have a question!” Mona popped her head into the alleyway, figures you wouldn’t be able to escape her. Mona looked around before stepping into the alleyway. “You are not from this world and sand clouds my vision every time I try to view your true nature. I am merely intrigued by this turn of events.” She put her hands on her hips, green eyes trying to discern something about you. She was certainly blunt, at least she knew what she wanted at the end of the day.

Her stare was intense as she tried to see through you, but whenever she looked too hard she found herself attempting to shake off invisible strings. You merely offered her a smile, what’s the point in lying to somebody you may not ever see again? “I’m a record keeper of sorts. You have impressive skill, Mona.” The compliment had her smirking, praise would be her undoing. But it at least changed the subject. What a fascinating woman.

Kazuha

-Unsurprisingly or perhaps surprisingly you met him while he fled from the Raiden Shogun’s forces. As in he ran directly into you and nearly dropped the dead vision he was still clutching in his hand. Interesting isn’t it? What a simple change of cloak can do to conceal one’s identity. Always intervening whether or not you should, that seemed to be the staple when it came to Teyvat.

-You did not spend much time with Kazuha beyond that. His path was his to walk and you would not meddle further. Though you knew that he knew, somebody as observant as he would be able to tell, wouldn’t he?

-That was a while ago though. Now you once more found yourself face to face with Kaedehara Kazuha. Or well, less face to face and more in the same area.

“I hope you can afford all these mercs!” Beidou called as she and her crew rushed into battle against the Shogun’s forces. Far enough away to not involve yourself, but close enough to listen to the resulting conversations. You jotted things down, whatever seemed important in the moment, minor details you may forget, a rough draft, if one will.

Kazuha lifted his head after greeting Gorou, eyes scanning the rocks jutting out of the nearby sea on the beach that had become a location of endless bloodshed. And for a moment, he faltered, red eyes widening before narrowing. He should have expected this. You always seemed to be where big things happened. “Kazuha, watch out!” Beidou warned and Kazuha snapped out of it, returning to the battle.

The rain began to start and you safely tucked your notebook away as you watched the rest of the battle. Ultimately Sara called back her forces when Kokomi showed up, the Shogun’s army quickly retreating from the bloody battlefield to rethink their strategy. You held your hand up, rain soaking through your glove. The battlefield cleared itself of most soldiers, Gorou, Beidou, Kazuha, two soldiers, and Aether remained to talk to one another.

Kazuha turned, looking over his shoulder and back at the sea around him. He wondered if you’d come, help like you had helped him back then. He lifted a bandaged hand, no doubt the same hand you had once given him bandages to cover the injury from clasping a dying vision. In turn you gave him a wave. All these people whose lives you have impacted in some way or another. Small things here and there. You wondered how much he knew of your deeds.

Thoma

“State your business here!”

“Oh- he’s a friend! He’s with us.” Aether interrupted the teahouse lady before she could say anything else. The woman huffed but conceded, allowing you to move past her and towards Aether and the taller blond from the ceremony. The teahouse door was opened and you stepped inside with them, pulling your notebook out to take notes. “Thoma, Ayaka this is… Well he doesn’t have a name.” Aether turned his head to look at you and you merely shrugged.

“You may refer to me as the Recordkeeper. Ha, that’s kind of like the Doctor.. I’ll have to write that down.” You make a note in the front of your notebook. Ayaka, Thoma, and Paimon look confused but Aether understood the reference. At least. “I’m merely here to listen. Pretend I’m not here, yes?” And with reassurance from your traveler friend, they did just that. You noted their plans, their ideals, where they’d go. It was all fascinating. A resistance against a God. The last time that happened…

You shook the thoughts, that was then, this is now. You cannot get involved again. Ayaka stood to leave, saying her goodbyes. Aether was gone next, a promise to meet again. That left you with Thoma. “Are you sure you don’t have a name? I feel a job title shouldn’t be a name.” He joked, leaning on his elbows as he watched you write into your notebook. Your pen stopped against the pages, the edge of the D growing thicker. “At least, I think that’s your job, right?”

You looked up from your book, setting the pen down against the pages. He was curious to say the least, despite everything that happened earlier. “I suppose it is my job, yes. I keep records. And I’m known by many names Fate Weaver, the Recordkeeper, God of Fate, I believe I’ve also been referred to as the God of Time once.. That’d be incorrect though.” For a moment something unrecognisable passes through his green eyes before his smile is back on his face.

“How about we call you (Name)? That way you don’t have to admit what and who you really are everywhere you go.”

“(Name)? Hm.. Very well.”

[showrunnerihardlyknowher]

Humans? Up MY Beanstalk? It's More Likely Than You Think!

AO3 Link

Danny's back on her bullshit and here to make everyone suffer with another WIP that's part of a fic trade with my beloved @hiddendreamer67 <3

Summary: I mean, Jack made it all sound so easy! Climb up the beanstalk a few times, steal enough riches to last himself ten life times, and live happily ever after as a heroic giant slayer with absolutely no repercussions.

Seriously, how hard can it be?

Aiden was no stranger to life events going from bad to worse at the drop of a hat, but more often than not he was able to go with the turbulent flow just enough to keep his head above water and out of any serious trouble. Such a feat was most evident in his adaptation to living within the labyrinth-like walls of the oversized castle he had foolishly sought refuge in weeks prior. Had it been weeks? Months, perhaps, or maybe only a handful of days. The passage of time was just as foreign to him as these massive surroundings, these massive people , and he didn’t have the gall to weasel his way towards an opening near the outside to gauge how high or low the sun was sitting in the strangely pink sky.

The irony was almost funny; where was that fool hearted bravery he had been swimming in when he first started his ascension up the winding stalk that sprouted who knows how many decades ago to reach its impressive height? He knew the stories of young boys trading cows for beans and getting far more than they bargained for. He knew it was down right suicidal to scale the plant in general given he hadn’t a lick of training when it came to climbing anything other than a ladder. The opportunity to live within a legend was too good to pass up, unfortunately. The flimsy promise of riches and adventure beyond his wildest dream outweighed the need to even consider how he was going to get back down from the towering growth when he was inevitably disappointed by the lack of golden eggs.

But he didn’t succumb to the thin air or fall to his death, and he wasn’t disappointed. If anything, he was given everything he envisioned. Almost everything. When he broke through the cloud line, he discovered the vine had tapered off in favor of clinging to a cliff side he was unaware even existed from below. Green tendrils served as almost a ladder to aid his climb up the mysterious rock formation until he was able to pull himself, huffing and panting and muscles tingling from overuse, over the edge to collapse on horizontal land. So the fabled kingdom of riches didn’t actually rest on the clouds, it seemed. A small let down, but hardly anything worth dampening the mood as Aiden took in his new world view.

He felt as if he had switched places with a weevil seeing how the small patch of grass he was in came up to his chest rather than swishing against his ankles. The euphoria of this great new discovery once again drowned out the more rational side of him, favoring exploration over potential survival. The logistics of returning home could be dealt with later, after he had slayed a giant and stolen only a penny of its wealth that would no doubt provide for him for the rest of his life. Naive. Gullible. Fool hearted.

Aiden had only trekked for a few hours before nearly getting swallowed up by a winged beast he likened to a bat, washing away over the edge of the cliff in a stream, and getting trampled by hulking soldiers doing their rounds. Each close call he survived by the skin of his teeth, luck and adrenaline driving him blindly to find a moment of safety. However, with each incident his bravery withered away into trepidation, especially the closer he came to the giants that roamed the lands. None of them had noticed him yet and part of him wondered if they would ever notice something as miniature as him scurrying around, but he wasn’t feeling bold enough to stay out in the open just for their reaction. No, once he had slipped into the fortress of metal and stone, out of sight from any predator's eyes, the will to venture back out had faded into near nothingness.

If he had it his way, he doubted he would ever again have the gung ho to leave the confines of his newfound sanctuary, not even for the bittersweet desire of returning home. He had made his bed in his haste to seek glory out of tall tales and now he must lie in it. Though his heart ached with anxiety and his hands ceased to tremble, his traitorous stomach refused to let him continue a life of solitude amongst the dusty beams. A weaker part of him couldn’t help but wonder if it would be worth it to live with the gnawing pain until it eventually overtook him. A fitting end, would it not, to starve to death like a rat in the walls? Alas, he was weak, but not weak enough to endure such aggressive cramping by the end of the second day, and so he mustered all the strength and courage he could just to snatch a few stale breadcrumbs long forgotten behind what he assumed was a cast iron stove.

Aiden truly was living up to his new rodent lifestyle, wasn’t he.

It was disgusting, but it was food, and though it made him ill the remainder of the night it had at least provided him with enough energy to go back out the next night in an effort to find something an inch more sustainable. By the end of the week, his newly discovered drive to live had him exploring every corner of the expansive kitchen during the wee hours of the night, when no giants hurried back and forth between the counters and the galley to serve platters of meals that could have fed his own village for months at a time. The rich smell of hot breads and meats made him dizzy, even more so now that he was getting accustomed to surviving off of dusty scraps he found on the floor. He needed to play it safe, he reminded himself as he watched one of the chef’s throw out an entire pan of fresh loaves because there’s too many chives in this! It’s too bitter for his tastes! , hardly resisting the urge to dive into the bins after the wasted food.

But...if they were so keen as to throw away an entire batch of fully prepared food over the fact that it was unsuitable for one person’s palette...surely there was no harm in taking what would be considered a nibble. Not when it was unwanted.

There it was again, that fool hearted bravery. If only Aiden had used it to find a way out of this unofficial prisoner rather than fuel his greed. He couldn’t be happy with the bare minimum he was given, could he? Always had to push the boundaries when he knew exactly where they lied, always run headfirst towards danger and then act surprised when it would bite him in the ass moments later. At least this time around he had the forethought to formulate some type of a plan, as flimsy as it was. Having become quite familiar with the inner structures of the fortress, he was able to determine the abode he was in was something along the lines of a castle. It was certainly sprawling enough, decorated with dark colors and glittering riches and constantly bustling with workers ranging from lowly servants to chittering socialites. Whether or not this was indeed a house for royalty he was unsure, having never been able to pinpoint which of the ambling lords or ladies might be the esteemed ruler of the lands. Assuming monarchies even existed this high, that is. Perhaps this was merely the norm of their society’s standards. It was unlikely, but it wasn’t as if he had many outside resources to compare this way of life to, not even in the way of his own village.

In theory, the heist should have been easy. In theory . All he had to do was wait until the dead of night for the bustling kitchen to fall silent as it normally did and he could slip out from the crevice closest to the scraps bin. Scaling in and out of the bin might prove trickier than he anticipated, but that remained a problem for future Aiden. The most important part of his newfound mission was being able to fill his stomach up with day-old bread and cold meats before they were discarded for good. If all went well, this could easily become a nightly routine of his, a way to feast like a king whilst living like a rat within the true royalty’s walls. He knew he was getting ahead of himself with that kind of fantasizing, perhaps that was even the beginning of his downfall, but he had so little to look forward to these days that he dared to get his hopes up for a semi-decent meal.

He hadn’t even made it halfway across the counter before he was spotted and subsequently captured.

But he had been so careful , he lamented to himself when the air was roughly knocked from his lungs after a massive hand slammed on top of him, pinning any squirms. True, he reflected as the stars cleared his vision, he never actually bothered to see if the kitchen remained vacant all night given that he was asleep...but he just assumed! Who in the world would be up during this hour!? Someone else sneaking a snack, maybe, just as he was. He could use that to his advantage, try and gain a few sympathy points by connecting with the giant on that level, convince them that all he needed was just a fraction of whatever they were probably getting for themselves and he would be on his way for good. A lie, of course, but the giant didn’t need to know that.

Once more, that short lived plan would never be put to use when Aiden felt himself being lifted in the air within a bone crushing grip, metal and leather digging into him in various places from the glove the giant wore. His eyes barely adjusted from the dizzying movements and dim kitchen before they were blown open at the sight, constricted breathing still entirely for a heartbeat. This was no ordinary giant, not like the ones he had grown accustomed to glancing at from the nooks and crannies. At first glance, however, it did fit the bill for the most part -- biped, guard’s armor, a human face -- but...did these giants typically have glowing purple eyes? He couldn’t recall for certain, yet the more he looked the more he found that appeared off. The outline of the guard’s figure seemed...fuzzy, like they were blurred rather than a solid defining line. His face, harsh and scrutinizing, was greyer than a corpse. He was otherworldly, and it was at that moment Aiden was painfully reminded he was in another world, one he didn’t belong in. One he knew he would be leaving quickly.

“You shouldn’t be here,” the guard rumbled, his voice grating more like static than a growl.

“N-no…” Aiden agreed. Anything to get on his good side. “I’ll go, I’ll l-leave!”

Though he had found his voice, he had yet to find the strength to attempt any kind of struggle, not that he thought he’d be able to budge the massive fingers in the slightest. However, if he showed just how eager he was to depart from this situation, maybe the giant would believe him and grant him that small mercy. Instead, he was given another rough squeeze that made his spine pop, the fist clenching him raising higher so that he was more at eye level with his captor.

“How did you get in here, human? ” The guard spat. Good news was that humans were a known creature, at least. Bad news was that humans, apparently, were not known for any pleasant reason.

Aiden panted, trying to suck in a much needed breath after all of his were forced out. “I-I don’t know…” He squealed in discomfort when the fingers tightened again, refusing to let up until he gave a more satisfactory answer. “Th-the walls! I came through the walls! ”

The guard snorted and slackened his grip to allow an inch of breathing room, “Of course you did. Little pest that you and your kind are.”

“Wh...what are you…?” A bold question, but since he was sure it was to be one of his last, Aiden saw no reason not to ask.

He wasn’t given an answer, the giant instead lowering him slightly to exit the kitchen and pace down the halls. The scenery whizzed by so fast that it made his head spin, catching a few looks at other giants that were loitering about. Just like the guard, they were similar to the ones he would see in the daytime but...different. The two guards they passed looked to be of the same race of whatever the one holding him was, a noblewoman in a shimmering capelet eyed him suspiciously and he could have sworn her ‘capelet’ flittered before settling back down her shoulders. How had he never seen any of these attributes in the day? Then again, he often viewed the giants in the fortress at a distance and never for very long, they could have all been magically endowed for all he knew. Or, another theory, the ones he was coming across now were merely nocturnal and their more...normal housemates were sound asleep as he typically was while these creatures did their rounds and had their fun.

The wonderment was short lived when the giant shoved his way through a heavy wooden door at the very end of a lesser used corridor. With each step down the spiraling stone staircase, Aiden felt his heart sink just a little lower. The long shadows casting against the walls from the torches mounted to them gave the dank atmosphere an even more sinister vibe, leaving too many unknown things able to hide in the darkness. Even the guard, who did not appear to be an overly friendly fellow to begin with, looked twice as menacing with how the shadows concealed the few human features he did have. Aiden swallowed thickly, unsure of where they were heading but already knowing it wasn’t good.

His hunch was confirmed when the guard entered another hall, one lined with cramped cells that were partially occupied. He tried not to look at them and their fates, not wanting to see what might be awaiting him as well. Likely not, though. He was far too small to shackle and imprison. A different punishment would have to be in store for him. Further down the hall, the dungeon changed its holding cells from ones with iron bars to ones with solid steel doors instead, obscuring whatever poor bastard was locked within. Was that considered a crueler punishment? Perhaps that was where the torturing took place, if such types of creatures indulged in those acts. He saw no reason why they wouldn’t and as a result could very easily imagine himself being thrown in there next.

Fortunately, or not, the guard instead opened another wooden door that was adjacent to several of the isolated cells, coming to stand before another giant sitting at a table. Aiden couldn’t tell what was on the desk or what this new giant was using these unknown things for, but from the jist of it he must have been busy.

“Sir,” the guard holding him said while raising him higher for the presumably important one to see better. “A human has been found within the perimeter.”

The guard, a captain if Aiden were to guess, frowned. “Any others?”

“None that I could sense in the immediate area.”

He sighed and waved his hand. “We’ll do a sweep before daybreak. Who knows the amount of damage it’s done...what it’s taken, what it’s told.” He fixed Aiden with an icy glare that made the poor human try to shrink in on himself.

He wished he could have found a way to defend himself, plead his case, but his voice was nowhere to be found now. All cowardliness and no self preservation.

“And how shall I dispose of this one, sir?” The guard asked and Aiden paled. Dispose!?

The one in charge shrugged a shoulder and resumed what he was doing previously, fiddling with tools and books and papers for one reason or another. “Put it on lunch duty. Give the lizard another rat to keep him busy.”

Aiden didn’t quite follow the logic of the order. Lunch duty didn’t sound half as bad as being disposed of. The ‘lizard’ was news to him, but regardless the guard nodded at his order and left the office back down the corridor of steel doors. He wasn’t sure if he should speak up and ask for clarification while he mulled over his rather lenient sentencing, doubtful the giant would even regard him. From the looks of disgust and distrust he had been given numerous times in the short span of time he had been discovered, he could gather that his presence was an unwelcome one, though why he was still unsure. Evidently, he was going to be put to work and he could most certainly live with that. Earn his keep, he reasoned. Give rats to lizards or something. Would these rats and lizards be the same kind as the ones back on his homeworld down below or would they be to scale with the giants? Another question he should probably speak aloud before he got in over his head.

Or, at least, he would have asked, had a wad of cloth not been jammed into mouth hard enough to make his jaw click uncomfortably. He gagged, trying to shove the offending material out with his tongue, but it was packed into his cheeks too tightly to budge. A different material, a thin rope, was quickly wound around his chest to pin his arms to his sides before wrapping further down to bind his ankles. It had happened in the flash, the guard giving him no warning or reasoning for the sudden confinement, but it wasn’t as if Aiden could offer up much protest now that it was all said and done. He was completely immobile, spun up like a fly in a spider’s web. The guard had done it with such efficiency that it must be something similar to a routine for him by now which did not bode well. In a last ditch effort to save his hide from whatever...this was, he looked up at his captor with wide, pleading eyes, begging for just a shred of sympathy or at the very least an explanation of what was about to happen.

All he was met with was the same cold, violet eyes as all the other giants he had come to pass. Equally cruel and indifferent. And it was then he understood, as he was being roughly shoved through a hand slot at the base of one of the sturdy metal cell doors, that he was not the one who was meant to be delivering the meals during “lunch duty”. He was the meal. He was the rat, which meant the lizard was…

Aiden wriggled as best he could manage in his position until he was able to roll onto his back and get a good look around the cell. It was massive to him, but compared to the size of the giants he could tell it was rather cramped. Dark and depressing, much like one would expect a lonely prison cell to be, with the scattering of tiny bones and grime along the stone walls. His breathing quickened as he tried to tell just what type of origin the gnawed remains had been, however it was too difficult to tell at this distance in such gloom lighting. Perhaps that was for the best, giving his brain a little boost of reassurance that maybe they weren’t all human bones, that this wasn’t a common fate most of his kind befell when they made the same foolish mistake of invading where they clearly did not belong.

Trying to avoid the glare of bones only worsened his situation tenfold when he turned his head and was met with what was, obviously, the lizard as previously mentioned. Well, partially a lizard? More human-looking than lizard just going off a quick glance which led Aiden to believe the nickname was meant to be a derogatory term for whatever species it was. It...he? Yeah, he was kneeling on the floor, not by choice, but rather due to the shackles that bound him at the wrist and was tethered to the floor with a pitifully short chain. The clothes he wore reminded him of something he might have caught a few nobles wear given the level of craftsmanship and hand woven designs. It was a shame they were soiled now in what he could only assume was sweat and dirt, how he hoped that was dirt. The prisoner picked his head up when he heard the food slot screech open and shut, waiting for any other sound before sighing at the responding silence.

The chain jingled as he shifted to reposition himself into something a little more comfortable, Aiden now catching sight of the black nails that blended into scales littering the back of his hand when he flexed his fingers. A tail briefly flicked into view before concealing itself behind him once again. As the human let his gaze trail further up his face, fully prepared to see another hateful glare burning a hole through his weak soul, he couldn’t help but notice another spattering of black scales along his cheekbones and down his neck, presumably up to his eyes as well, but...well, he couldn’t tell. Not when there was a tattered, red cloth tied around his head, effectively blinding the sense. He wondered if this was an ailment the giant already had or if this was another part of his punishment, curious if he even had any eyes still in their sockets beneath the shoddy wrappings. Whatever the case was, the “lizard” obviously couldn’t see him and Aiden was unable to alert him to his presence with the gag shoved down his throat, leaving them at an awkward stalemate.

A stalemate that lasted all of two seconds before the giant wrinkled his nose and frowned. “The hell kind of rodent is this…? ” he muttered to himself.

So much for not knowing he was there. With great effort, Aiden twisted his body until he was able to turn on his side, trying to push himself up into a sitting position. He froze when the giant started to move as well, pointed ears twitching in response to the light scuffling he was making against the floor to pinpoint his location. Despite one of his senses being dulled, it was evident his remaining ones were still working in perfect order, maybe even heightened to compensate for the lack of vision.

“Another live one,” he sighed, fingers flexing again, “Sorry about this little buddy. I don’t like live prey any more than you like being it, I’m sure, but, well…”

That was the only warning Aiden had before the giant lunged, teeth snapping an inch in front of his frozen body. From this close, he could see the needle-thin fangs previously hidden behind a grimace and instantly wanted to be far, far away from them. His only saving grace was the short lead the other had on his cuffs, preventing him from pushing off any closer and cutting him off just shy of his prize for the time being. He growled in annoyance at having missed the offered prey, pulling back to realign himself for a better pounce.

“Come on, just make this easy for the both of us,” the giant huffed.

Oh, absolutely not. No, no, no. No, this was not how Aiden wanted his adventure in the skies to end. Fuck the adventure, he wanted to go home and he wanted to do so alive and in one piece. Being ripped to shreds was not a fate he ever envisioned for himself. He wasn’t going to die like some...some rat!

The giant was inching closer, moving along the side as much as the chain would allow to get a better angle. It didn’t matter whether he ensnared the tiny between his claws or teeth or even batted its little corpse within reaching distance with his tail, so long as he was able to get a hold on its fresh flesh one way or another. Desperately, Aiden began to rock back and forth to shimmy his body across the floor, painstakingly putting centimeters of distance between them that the giant was able to make up in a single shuffle. When the chain pulled taunt again, the human rolled to the side and narrowly missed the clamp of teeth once more, hot breath blowing against his back and covering his body in goosebumps. Undeterred, however, the giant followed his scent that was so tantalizingly close and moved his body in unison with Aiden’s. With another bite, he was able to find purchase on the ropes that burned against his arms and sunk his fangs in what he supposed was meant to be an animal's tender flesh.

Aiden had tried to avoid the attack but simply could not scramble away quick enough, his only luck being that he was just far enough that the gnashing teeth only managed to puncture through the fibers of rope rather than his actual skin. He was lifted into the air when the giant pulled back, kicking and thrashing to the best of his ability against the hold. The humid air blowing on the back of his head made him nauseous now, only able to envision how the feeling would quickly be enveloping him entirely when he was thrown back and swallowed down the creature’s gullet. With one, final twist, Aiden prayed his limited strength would be enough to somehow dislodge himself from the giant’s maw and give him another chance at playing this unbalanced game of chase.

And then the rope snapped.

Having already been sawed and frayed in several places from the giant’s fangs, Aiden’s pull was all it needed to rip apart entirely, sending the human sprawling onto the cold ground. His vision clouded when his head smacked against the stone, ironically thankful for the wad of cloth in his mouth or he most certainly would have lost a few teeth. Without a doubt, he was going to have a nasty bruise coloring the majority of his right side in the near future, the ache still pulsing with every wheezing breath he tried to gain back. While the stars faded from his eyes, he watched distantly as the giant curiously grinded the material in his mouth before dropping it. He pursed his lips in confusion, expecting raw meat and the rush of blood rather than some scratchy coils of what almost tasted like hide.

“Gods, what even is this,” he cringed.

Me , Aiden wanted to cry out, it’s me, it’s a human!

The giant’s hang up with his unusual meal faded into resignation much sooner than Aiden would have liked. He was hardly to blame, though, if he had been given nothing but live pests to blindly hunt down without the use of his full mobility for an undetermined amount of time. They were in a similar boat, really. Creatures trapped in a home they had no business being in, trying to survive on what little scraps were thrown their way. The human sorely wished he hadn’t been relegated into the scraps category, but there was little he could do about that now. Knowing his prey had a pretty straight forward drop, he moved again with an open mouth to seal the foreign creature’s fate.

The sight of teeth rushing to greet him was exactly the adrenaline rush Aiden’s body needed to get moving again, much more successfully this time now that he had arms to push up with and legs to carry him a greater distance. As much as he would have loved to have sprinted to the other side of the cell, even find another crack to slip through if fate would feel the desire to be so kind to him today, he only managed to stumble a few feet out of the immediate danger zone before tripping over himself. His right leg screamed in agony from the second fall, a sign of something being sprained somewhere he was sure. He wanted to scream out loud as well had it not been for the gag. The gag he realized he could take out now. Unsure of how useful his last words would even be, the human ripped the wad of cloth out of his mouth in a frenzy while the giant prepped himself for another attack. If anything, at least Aiden could find catharsis in leaving some sort of statement about himself behind for someone to hear, even if it was just confirmation of his fool heartedness.

“Stop!” Aiden yelled, voice raw and itching his throat like it hadn’t been used in ages rather than half an hour. “Please, stop! G-get away! ”

He wasn’t sure what he was expecting the giant to do as a result, but one thing was clear and it was that he most certainly wasn’t expecting his meal to say anything. He reeled back like he had been physically struck by those words, if his eyes were visible he was sure they would be as wide as serving platters. It was almost comical how he stumbled back, the menacing creature suddenly so fearful of a tiny vermin it was trying to consume moments prior, mouth agape as he tried to process what was going on without being able to actually see it.

“You...did you just, oh my gods,” he gasped. While he was glad he was being spared for the time being, the giant’s nervousness did little to quell the anxiety that had been brewing in Aiden’s heart since the moment he came upon this accursed land.

“Ple-please…” Aiden whimpered, suddenly drained physically and emotionally from the whole ordeal and settling to just drag himself any extra distance he could away from his unofficial death penalty. It was a pathetic display, but on the bright side, one he wouldn’t be mocked for. “Don’t h-hurt me…”

The giant shifted again, hesitant, closer , and Aiden braced himself for the final bite to end it all.

“You can talk!? ”

[dudeandduchess]

Kyōjurō x F!S/O: The Way I Loved You (Angst with Happy Ending, SFW Scenario)

Warnings: Angst with Happy Ending, Toxic Relationship, Arguing, Screaming, Fighting, Kissing in the Rain (lmao), Mild Mysoginy (since this is set in the Taishō Era)

Note: It feels so good to have written this down. Please don’t be too harsh on this piece, as I’m still not in the best condition. I just couldn’t resist not writing it down immediately. 😅💖

***

The wedding was beautiful. At least, it was supposed to be.

It was going to be the wedding of the year— according to all of (Y/n)’s relatives; especially her mother. They parroted those words over and over, until she was so sick to her stomach from having to hear it get dragged out over and over.

The wedding that (Y/n) was planning was supposed to be a big one; after all, it was her dream wedding, to her dream husband. He was so perfect, so incredible— he even got along with the most unhospitable of (Y/n)’s relatives.

Her husband-to-be was just that amazing. He was always there when it mattered, and even when it didn’t matter. She only needed to send him a letter to get him to come to her side. She couldn’t have asked for anyone better.

He was so unlike Kyōjurō.

The name sent a pang through her chest, tugging at her heartstrings in the worst of ways that left her a little teary eyed and shaky. Kyōjurō wasn’t like her betrothed at all, but she couldn’t help but still want him.

She was still so desperately in love with the Flame Hashira, that she had kept putting off her wedding— in the hopes that he would swoop in at the last second and take her away from there. Still, even after months of lying through her teeth about anything and everything that she can with regards to the wedding, she had finally given up.

Accepted that she had made the worst mistake of her life when she told Kyōjurō to never show his face to her again.

“I hate you! I hate everything about you! I hate that I let you hurt me like this; that I let you affect me this much!” She remembered screaming the words at him on the day that they had parted ways.

But, even though she tried to shake the memory away, it still played in her head. A painful memory that had her closing her eyes and rubbing the area just above her heart. “I hate that you’re never there for me! I don’t even see you, Kyōjurō! We’ve been together for years, but I’ve still yet to get a proposal from you! Am I just a good time to you? Someone not worth marrying? Because I gave everything to you, Kyōjurō; everything that would define me as a woman worth marrying.”

She didn’t know what Kyōjurō had been thinking about in that time, but it was obvious that he was also conflicted. Until he closed his eyes and sighed heavily; so heavily that (Y/n) felt her heart sink to her stomach.

It was a resigned sigh, and it told her everything that she needed to know.

So, instead of crying and begging him to marry her to preserve her dignity as a woman— as well as mend the broken fragments of her heart— she gritted her teeth and walked away from him. (Y/n) walked as fast as her feet could take her, biting back tears while on her way home.

And that was the day that she swore that she would forget all about him. Only, she never did.

The young woman hadn’t even realized that she was already crying; not until she felt the first warm tear land on the back of her hand. It shook her from her painful reverie, and had her quickly swiping at the tears that wouldn’t stop falling from her eyes.

“(Y/n), we’re going to have dinner with your husband soon. You should change,” (Y/n)’s mother chirped happily from outside her room, totally oblivious to the fact that her daughter was biting down on her bottom lip to silence the sobs that threatened to wrack through her body.

The action made her chest hurt, even when she hunched over and tried hugging herself— if only to keep herself together, when she felt like she was coming undone. She didn’t even know what she wanted anymore— the wedding of a lifetime with her dream man, or to be stuck in an endless cycle with the man she loved.

It hurt her to even think about it, to the point where she had slipped up and accidentally released her bottom lip. And that was the catalyst for all of the heartbroken and painful sobs that had her feeling so weak.

She couldn’t even breathe, let alone move from where she was. All that she could do was cry and heave, and silently call out for Kyōjurō.

But even that, she knew, wasn’t enough to get him back.

***

It was the end of the night, with (Y/n) having been the envy of every other woman at the restaurant. Men and women alike couldn’t resist turning their gazes over to her and her betrothed— but maybe it was mostly because of all of the scars that littered his body.

Sanemi was perfect for her; strong, serious, steadfast and— most of all— someone who could charm everyone with his manners and politeness. He just looked gruff on the outside, but (Y/n) couldn’t have asked for anyone better suited for her; someone who accepted her as she is.

He never made her wait, and never made her feel bad. Even when he was away on missions, he never failed to send her updates. He was everything that Kyōjurō wasn’t, yet he was also everything that (Y/n) realized that she didn’t really want.

She wanted those goofy, late night strolls with Kyōjurō, and having to wait for days for a five-page letter that was mostly apologies for forgetting to write. She wanted to feel so much again with the love of her life, instead of stewing in her hollow achievement with who is seemingly the perfect man.

A sad smile tugged up on the corners of (Y/n)’s lips as she tucked all of her things away. She was already ready for bed, but the memory of a smiling Kyōjurō as he helped her get on a stone bench played in her memory.

It was one of her most treasured moments, because it was the moment that she realized that she was truly in love with the blond.

He had wrapped his arms around her waist while she stood atop the bench, lifting her up and spinning her once just to elicit a quiet scream from her. He always had fun with joking around with her, that it had become a normal occurence for him to do it just to see the progression of her getting mad to her smiling at him as she called him a goofball.

Kyōjurō had never told her, but it was those moments— among so many more— that he treasured the most.

He loved her with his whole being, but the only problem was that he couldn’t fully commit himself to her; not when he wasn’t sure if his next mission was going to be his last.

He knew that he couldn’t do that to her; so, instead of tying her down to him, he chose to just let her go— even if it was the most painful thing that he’d ever had to do in his life.

That was why Kyōjurō didn’t know what he was doing outside (Y/n)’s house in the dead of the night, looking up at the window that he knew was hers— waiting for what, exactly, he didn’t know.

Maybe he was waiting for her to come out for him? To feel his presence like some lovers do, and just magically jump in his arms— as if he hadn’t hurt her before.

Kyōjurō wasn’t quite sure about his plan anymore. Especially since he remembered the look on her face when he chose to stay silent in the peak of her anger. He wanted nothing more than to tell her that he did love her, he just couldn’t hurt her more on the off chance that he died.

The Flame Hashira didn’t even know just how long he had been standing there— clearly trespassing— but he was past the point of caring. He just wanted even the smallest glimpse of her; one look and that would tide him over.

One glimpse of her and that would soothe his aching heart.

Kyōjurō felt something cold hit his cheek then; one tiny drop, that was then followed by more and more droplets— until he was standing under a torrential downpour. Yet he couldn’t care less about his dripping clothes, or his hair that was matted to his face.

All of that seemed trivial compared to the pain that he felt when he lost (Y/n).

The rain was pelting him harder than before, yet he still stood there— waiting right by her open window; hoping that she would take the time to even walk past it.

However, (Y/n) did more than what Kyōjurō was asking for. She went right up to her open window and had begun to close it, when she looked up and saw a figure that she would never forget in her lifetime.

Her hands froze right where they were holding on to the window, and her heart practically lurched in her chest before coming to an absolute standstill.

And, before she could process what she was doing, she already found herself rushing out the shoji and hastening towards Kyōjurō. She felt every possible emotion bubbling up within her, telling her to rage and scream at him— yet also telling her to pull him close and never let him go.

So, she did both.

She stopped right in front of a wide-eyed Kyōjurō and lifted her hand up— swinging it up to slap him across the face, before she cupped his cheeks and pulled him down to finally kiss those lips that she had been missing for so long.

Kyōjurō didn’t even fight it; not getting mad at getting slapped, at the very least. He knew that he deserved that, and he also knew that he didn’t deserve (Y/n)’s kiss— yet he still found himself melting into her. His arms had even wrapped themselves around her; pulling her in against his chest as he savored the taste of her lips.

Both of them didn’t know how long they stood there beneath the downpour, so lost in each other that they paid no mind to the cold seeping into their skin. Everything else came second to each other, as both of them had been longing for that reunion.

Even when Kyōjurō pulled away and tucked a few strands of hair away from (Y/n)’s face, the only thing that he could do was lean down and kiss her again— all before hugging her as tight as he would allow him to.

And, before he could stop himself, he found the words rolling off his tongue and meshing in with the rain— yet also rising above the sounds of the world around them. “Run away with me.”

[bigskydreaming]

I’m a big believer that Dick’s independence and self-reliance isn’t in any way rooted in him just being stubborn, prideful or self-destructive. I view it as being in his eyes a necessity….because on a deep, fundamental level….Dick doesn’t trust anything to be permanent. 

I’ll always go back to the fact that his character archetype isn’t that of the everyman, because he was of lower class origins compared to Bruce’s extreme upper class background.....but rather that given that Dick Grayson was allegedly exceptional from his debut, a child prodigy capable of feats of acrobatics few in the world could match....he could never actually be classified as an everyman. Rather, his core archetype is that of the fish out of water. The individual taken from the comforts of his original pond and thrust into a limelight of an entirely different nature from the one he grew up in, with the two not at all being interchangeable, and necessitating he change and adapt in dramatic and often unanticipated ways just to keep his footing in his new environs.

Its not incidental that his initial tragedy wasn’t JUST the loss of his parents, but rather the loss of his old routines, extended family, environment, way of life, expectations for the way his future would play out....it ALL vanished on the same night, never to return again. The loss of his parents was tragedy enough all on its own, but its really only one part of what Dick lost that night. He lost his entire footing. His frames of reference. Everything his life had previously prepared him for and everything he could have used as a familiar comfort or source of stability to lean on, if it had been ‘just’ his parents that he lost.

And I fundamentally don’t believe you ever get over THAT loss, no matter what peace you make with the loss of your loved ones or specific elements of that. Once you’ve experienced a shake-up of that size, once you have a bone-deep, visceral awareness of how completely your life can change in the blink of an eye, how you can effectively be set back to zero as though nothing you’ve previously accomplished matters (remember, he went from a kid whose name drew crowds on its OWN merits, based on what HE was capable of due to his own work and skills, the youngest of the Flying Graysons, capable of an acrobatic feat barely anyone else in the world could master......to being a kid who was only ever identified as in the context of Bruce Wayne having taken him in, as though his existence and worth were defined by someone else’s act of compassion rather than based on anything he’d ever done on his own, when the fact of the matter is even by age eight, he’d already accomplished a LOT)....

Like, the point is, you can’t go through a shake-up like that and ever fully FORGET how complete and total a change it was, how big a rewrite of your entire life story. 

That’s a trauma all its own, one that goes largely unacknowledged, and one that I don’t think Bruce and Alfred or anyone else fully realized was even there TO need addressing in the first place. So of course how could they ever fully address it, without realizing a need?

And I think Dick’s constant moves and self-reliance are actually born of that primal awareness that there are no guarantees, that nothing is truly permanent, that anything can be taken away in an instant.

He’s always waiting for the other shoe to drop, for everything to be taken away again - as people have pointed out in other posts, Dick can never seem to have nice things. Even the apartment building he lived in while in Bludhaven….that wasn’t some height of luxury by ANY stretch of the imagination…was lost to him, along with all the friends and neighbors and community he’d built among them, something evidenced by how highly they all spoke of him, even to a total stranger. And that’s not even getting into how even the CITY he sought to establish himself as a guardian over, like, he lost the city itself. The CITY!

Dick, I believe, insists on holding down 9-5 jobs and paying his own way and only touching money that comes from Bruce originally, when like…he has no other option or its to help someone else….just like he’s resistant to ever fully putting down roots, at least none so deep that he can’t uproot himself and quickly relocate without ripping off a piece of himself and leaving it still buried in the ground behind him. 

Because deep down, he’s always bracing for the next seismic event that’ll rip everything away from him, and he wants to be prepared. He WANTS to make sure he never takes anything for granted. That if he loses it all - hell, if he and Bruce fight again and Bruce decides once and for all to take it all away from Dick, cut their ties, something that would very much be a deep-rooted insecurity for a kid with as massive of abandonment issues as Dick must have given his childhood and a number of events after that…

Dick I think needs to trust that he’ll be capable of surviving, of standing on his own two feet, if the worst should ever happen again and he’s left on his own again. His self-reliance and obsessive need for independence aren’t a REJECTION of anyone else or anything Bruce or others have ever done for him.

They’re simply the defense mechanisms of a boy who was once upon a time torn away from everything he knew and in certain origins was then on top of that plunged into hellish circumstances before finding a refuge with Bruce….

And the man that boy grew up to be, who is determined to never be caught in a situation like that again, where his very survival might otherwise require the kindness of a stranger….with Dick knowing better than to count on lightning striking twice there, and him getting lucky a second time.

So in a lot of ways, my core perception of Dick having spent more time growing up in the luxury of Wayne Manor than any of the other kids is that its largely irrelevant to who he grew up to be. Because he was still more than old enough by the time he arrived that he had formative experiences all his own that no amount of time was sufficient to overwrite and exchange for new ones.

His experiences are so extreme in terms of the loss of all forms of stability, that the SHAPE that stability takes in the periods where his life IS stable, is largely unimportant. Because its the absence of stability that’s the defining recurrence in his life. Even the stability offered by his childhood in Wayne Manor eventually gave way to canon where he left the Manor before he was even eighteen, as well as canon where no matter how it was ultimately reversed, he was for a time affected by having the ability to call the Manor his home STRIPPED AWAY FROM HIM. Thus even when Bruce did ultimately welcome him back, there still retained an awareness that even the fact that this had happened in the first place was a reminder that even THIS was something Dick could lose, that no matter how stable his childhood there had been at times, it couldn’t in and of itself be COUNTED as a source of stability due to the simple fact that his ability to call it his home HADN’T turned out to be an irrevocable constant. 

And so this is another of those areas where I think its fundamentally an oversight to have members of the family commenting on Dick’s self-reliance or tendencies to relocate himself, let alone in any kind of critical capacity......

If there’s not going to be an acknowledgment within the family or by the people raising these criticisms like, what kind of a role the family themselves have played in Dick feeling a NEED to have these tendencies in the first place.

If someone doesn’t trust in any place he lives in to ever truly be a constant in his life, truly permanent, that anything can be taken away in the right circumstances....and you yourself have done something that has made him feel or given him reason TO leave a place he’s found stability in at some point in the past....you kiiiiiinda forsake your right to be critical of his inability to see any place as permanent or constant, y’know?

Like, insert Miranda Whatshername gif or Meryl Streep peering down her glasses and going oh I see, you think this has nothing to do with you.

So I’d argue that Dick’s insistence on simulating the average person’s reality of livelihood, even when he has other means and funds available to him….just as his insistence on being as solely responsible for the well-being of the place or people he sees as his responsibilities, being single-minded about relying only on himself for tasks that he sees as ultimately having nothing to do with someone other than himself, etc....

All that is in my opinion BECAUSE he’s so firmly attached to the reality that anything and everything can be taken away, at ANY given moment. That he can be reduced to having nothing and no one he can depend on BEYOND just his own innate skills and experiences, the only things he trusts to be truly unable to be stripped from him by others.

If you ask me, one of the core aspects of Dick’s characterization throughout his adulthood in canon is SPECIFICALLY his fear that everything he cares about, or trusts, or relies on…can be taken away from him or lost. 

And his determination to make sure that he’ll be able to survive even if that should ever happen again.